


(Un)Warrented Desire: A Kakuhida Oneshot

by Rukosband



Category: Naruto
Genre: Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay, I should be sleeping, M/M, before their deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-07-14 06:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16034864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukosband/pseuds/Rukosband
Summary: After a barely successful bounty, Hidan has pushed Kakuzu, yet again, into attacking him and it was becoming apparent to Kakuzu that the zealot actually enjoyed his punishments. Fed up that Hidan continuously provokes him, Kakuzu does the unthinkable at the cost of his own pride.*Edit* Now with Hidan's Point of View!





	1. Kakuzu

I’ve never felt so powerless.

So weak.

So insignificant.

No matter how many times I win, it will always be a defeat.

And to a natural born idiot, no less.

My life was always full of struggle and hardship, clamoring my way to the top to be kicked back down into the dirt for one failure. _One_ failure in a task that no one had ever succeeded in. I had to start all over after escaping my unjustified imprisonment and I’d finally achieved a point in which I could be content and do the things that satiate both my bloodlust and greed while somehow managing my own inner peace. I was a force to be reckoned with but by no standards would I ever reign supreme - I’m not ignorant of my own vulnerabilities.

Nonetheless, I still possessed a grand amount of pride and ego that all came crashing down when I met _him._

A maddening fanatic.

Narcissistic lunatic.

An imbecile among imbeciles.

Yet he had the _gall_ to spit in _my_ face - to shout such a string of obscenities while jeering - grinning like a cat toying with prey - all because I couldn’t kill him. And God have I tried. By _God_ have I tried, to the degree that I’ve begun to think that maybe there _is_ such a thing as a deity. To sway my beliefs, albeit just by a fraction, was enough to make my blood boil.

And he _loved_ it. Loved pissing me off and watching me lose my temper. Loved the feel of my fingers currently digging into his throat with a face that said he was in ecstasy. Loved the pain that I inflicted again and again and again so long as he wanted it. And I give it to him because I have no control over my body once my rage takes hold. For _I_ love inflicting pain. That hot rush of adrenaline-fueled power was my own form of pleasure and I craved it - I’m addicted to it. Destroying; dismembering; holding the still beating hearts of my prey: there's no greater feeling than that and I was always at my calmest afterwards.

But this man - this aggravating, maddening excuse of a man who was currently losing consciousness by my own hands - couldn't be destroyed no matter how often I tried. I can't recall how many times I’d felt his hot organs in my hands, how many of them I’d ripped out, or felt his flesh give, bones break, skin tear, tasted blood. Ripping people apart usual quelled my torrent storm of emotions but not with this one. _Never_ with this one.

And whenever I was finished, he’d take a few moments to pray and I had no choice but to wait on him. Our coworker status was entirely forced upon and outside of my control; the one rule with Akatsuki that I loathed. My previous partners hadn't been much better, but anyone was an improvement over _him._

But despite my grievances, we worked flawlessly well together. His inability to die made him the perfect candidate for my destructive tendencies and because of this, we never failed in our assignments. I just wished he didn't have this god-forsaken personality.

See, I don't just attack people at random like a rabid dog; there’s usually a build up followed by a catalyst, and then I explode. And I don’t fall off that high until I’ve either exhausted myself or the target of my rage has been wholly annihilated. This ‘ _partner’_ of mine found himself the target more often than what should be humanly possible. He called himself a disciple of his god, granted immortality so he may eternally serve his lord and spread his teachings through death and sacrifice. He was no messenger of God - he was a demon’s curse, sent here to drag me to the depths of Hell so I may pay for my sins. But I have no plans of dying; I’ve extended my life to ensure that. So now my Hell as been brought to the world of the living in the form of this immortal brat.

But even I know there's no such thing as immortality - just delaying the inevitable. And I _will_ find a way to kill him.

At the cost of my own dying breath if I must.

“Ka-kshu-!”

Ah, there it is. Attempting to speak my name was the first sign that he was finally coming off of his high and beginning to panic. Strangling him was my current favorite go-to form of punishment. There was a pleasing amount of satisfaction in its slowness, more so with him. For whatever his body was made of, though by all appearances he was, unlike myself, completely human, it seemed to prolong his tolerance to everything. Blood loss, suffocation, torture - he’d stay conscious far longer than human limitations. A blow to the head was the surest way to knock him out and that didn't provide any enjoyment, just deadweight. But strangling? As of now it satiated me enough to stay sane and in most cases was the cleanest method. I’ve ruined too many cloaks ripping him apart.

His face had become the same shade as his eyes: a rather unique red-violet. Almost like a light red wine. Paired with his nearly white platinum hair, he was a thing of exotic good looks that was wasted on someone as worthless as him. I imagine, had this body under me been that of a child (though he certainly was mentally one), he’d have fetched a high price. It’s a shame I never came across him in my travels.

Feeble fingers pulled at my wrists and grew weaker by the second. He was almost gone - just at the edge of consciousness. So close to passing out I could feel the struggling pulse under my fingers. I wanted to squeeze harder, crush his throat until the flesh and bone surrendered and I was left with the refreshing sound of silence. But unfortunately, silence wouldn’t come. I would be stuck sewing him back together the second he opens his mouth and starts spewing insults and curses because he knows I can’t get rid of him. A partner who can’t die… Pein had finally found someone I can’t dispose of.

Just as the reddened eyes began to roll to the back of his skull, I released my hold on his neck. I’ve wasted enough time today and anymore would just further foul my mood. He coughed and hacked and gasped, twisted and spasmed, gingerly clutched at his throat, all while the redness of his face returned to a more normal color. The eyes that glared up at me were defiant, challenging, not a single drop of fear. It vexed me to know that he doesn't fear me when he should. But he looked forward to the beatings - instigated them really. Sometimes I was just angry and needed to vent out my rage physically, but today, like most occasions, he had continued to jab and taunt until I snapped.

He wasn't normal - far beyond it. No one in their right mind would purposely anger someone when they _knew_ they’d be punished for it. I know he enjoys pain but this was unreasonable - incomprehensible. How many times must I beat him senseless until he learns?

The sides of my face ached from how I had been, unawaredly, grinning while choking him. The mask I always wore hid that from him but no doubt had the joy of squeezing the life out of him been noticeable in my eyes. This masochism of his was a terrible influence on my cruelty and I’ve noticed how my thirst for violence had been steadily increasing. It's why I was so angry today. The bounty I had hunted down hadn’t fetched half of what it should have been worth because I had too badly damaged the body. I had lost control in the fight and gone too far and this worthless partner of mine had triggered it.

“You motherfucker,” he croaked out, his voice hoarse from his near decapitation. A hand was gently rubbing at the skin where bruises were already beginning to form. “Get off of me “ he barked.

Threats and violence were always useless against him but I try it again and again in the hope that it works. I snatched him up by the jaw and forced him to look at me. He snarled, eyes burning with hatred and fury while baring his teeth like an animal. It made my temper flare. “You’ve exhausted my patience for the last time, Hidan,” I growled.

The snarl twisted into a sideways grin, or at least he managed to attempt one with the way his jaw was tightly in my grip. “Isn't that the same thing you said last week?”

When will he ever take me seriously? And what else could I do to make him understand? He healed quickly, preached that suffering and pain was what his god asked for, and performed blood rituals that were, on many occasions, worse than what I do to him. How can I tame someone like that?

Thrusting his face away, I got off of him and stalked over to the metal briefcase that was only half as full as it should be. Its lack of weight bothered me much more than Hidan’s mumbled insults which meant I was resigned from hurting him and was ready to continue with our assignment.

“Fuckin’ dick, where do you think you’re going?” Like I said: no fear and always instigated the fights between us. And no respect - not even for himself.

“You’ve wasted enough of my time today.”

“Wasted it? You were enjoying yourself, admit it,” he sneered.

I stopped walking and without facing him completely, I said, “Enjoying myself? Yes… I suppose I was. Having a toy I can kill over and over again _is_ rather satisfying.” I wasn't lying - I did find a lot of enjoyment in beating Hidan’s brains out but most days I wished the breath never found him again.

“Oh? So I've upgraded from annoying pest to toy now?” I can just imagine that idiotic grin spreading across his face just by that amused tone. “I’m not sure how I feel about it. Am I at least a precious toy you can’t live without?”

I know he was just trying to get a rise out of me and I knew better than to fall for his bait, but belittling him until that smile was gone was sometimes more enjoyable than using my fists. I began walking again but at a slow enough pace so I can still predict his movements. “Precious? By no means. And a pest can still be a toy. You're just a disposable one. Only the false god in your head will ever want you.”

He clicked his tongue in anger and I heard the distinct faint clatter of him grabbing his scythe, but, if there's one thing he’s learned, it's that he will never have the jump on me. “You're lucky Jashin-sama hasn’t given me permission to kill you,” he growled and quickly followed suit behind me. “But one day I’ll sacrifice you to him and you _will_ be thankful for it because I'll be saving your soul.”

“This again? Do me a favor and save me from your insufferable preaching by killing yourself.” Silence - all I ever want from him is silence. His voice was grating, constantly fluctuating in pitch and volume that it gave me a migraine.

“Fuck off. How many times have you seen me perform a ritual?” he said, hands on hips. It was a rhetorical question that I wasn’t going to answer. “I am Jashin-sama’s devoted servant whom he has granted everlasting life!” He waved his arms around as if to embrace this ‘Jashin’ of his. “Fucking heathens like you are to be punished by me and judged by Jashin…” And on and on he went.

If there’s anything I’ve improved on because of him, it’s how to completely block out all non-essential noise. Hidan can drone on forever about his god and I've grown tired of telling him to shut up. He’ll become angry once he’s realized I wasn't listening and will interrupt my concentration, or lack thereof, so he can start preaching again. It was all just garbage. There were more important things in life that I wish Hidan grew a taste for.

Like money.

Then maybe I wouldn't loathe him as badly. But money means nothing to him. Or rather, I shouldn't say nothing. He denounces it - says that it's all worthless and in my head. But then bitches about me not spending it on food and inns. He’s delusional on how the world works and is too simple minded for me to educate him.

By mid-afternoon it was overcast and we caught an occasional drizzle but by the evening it was pouring. A storm had managed to catch up and we were left running through the heavy rain looking for shelter. When I spotted an old abandoned cabin I quickly diverted towards it, just barely catching Hidan's grunt at the sudden change of direction.

With the state the little building was in it must have been abandoned decades ago. The door had broken off its hinges and disintegrated into pieces leaving a gaping dark hole for an entrance. A dilapidated cabinet slumped sadly in the corner, what was once a set of chairs and a table lay in their individual piles and broken hide tanning tools were shoved along the back wall. A hunting lodge, long cleared out and left to rot but still remarkably structurally sound whilst the rain poured with such fierceness and yet not a single drop seemed to have found its way through the roof. The same couldn't be said for the windows and entryway. Water sprayed in, bouncing off the broken edging and making its way onto the floor. It wasn't perfect but it's our best option for now.

I stepped carefully around the soft spots of the wood as the last thing I was in the mood for was falling through the floor and into the mud, and behind me Hidan copied my movements but with less grace. Soaked through, I removed my cloak and hung it on one of the beams that crisscrossed the space above our heads but hesitated on the rest. Hidan has seen me without my mask before but that didn't mean I was willing to listen to him heckle at my appearance. Then again, as I thought on it, he'd do the same if I didn't remove it. I quickly tossed the headdress up on the same beam as the Akatsuki cloak and quickly jostled my damp hair to loosen it up to dry. My open back shirt was a little damp around the neck but dry for the most part as the cloak did provide some weather resistance but the bottoms of my pants were soaked through.

Hidan shook his head like a dog and then quickly pushed his hair back into its usual slicked back manner before placing his scythe against the wall. “Fuck this rain,” he cursed and then, taking a look at our small shelter, he began undressing. “Your cheap ass couldn't get us someplace nicer?”

I knew he'd complain; he always did. “We’re two hours out from the nearest town and there's no guarantee that they'll have an inn. This is the best place to wait out the storm.” On many occasions I stretched the truth out so we didn't end up wasting money but this time I wasn’t. On this side of the Land of Tea we were a good distance from civilization. The storm would only further hinder my plans and without the sun or stars to guide me I was beginning to doubt which direction we were running in as I’m not as familiar with this territory. I wasn't going to get us lost and be stuck listening to Hidan's bitching longer than necessary.

His cloak now hanging opposite mine, Hidan groaned at my response and kicked off his shoes and pants. “Fuckin’ perfect,” he said bitterly. “Doesn't look like it's gonna let up any time soon, either.”

“We'll stay here for the night and resume at dawn.”

He laughed sarcastically. “Like hell I'm going out in this rain.” Hidan sat facing the doorway and rubbed his arms as a shiver passed through him. “Hey, can we make a fire?”

“Absolutely not,” my response came quickly. “With how old this wood is the place will go up in flames in an instant. And there's no fireplace.”

“What? It's raining - we'll be fine.”

“That's not how it works.”

“Can't we just put it in the doorway?”

“With what fuel? The surrounding area is soaked and what little materials there are that _aren't_ a supporting structure won't last long.” Why was I going into such depth to explain it to him? This idiot will never accept logical reasoning. “If you wore a shirt then perhaps you wouldn’t be so cold,” I scolded.

He looked at me like I was annoying him. “What difference would that have made? Even my pants are fucking soaked. Aren't yours?”

“Just the bottoms.” The bottoms of the pant legs were damp and I had already removed my sandals to dry some, but there wasn't a need to remove much of anything else.

A frustrated groan later, he waved his arms at me. “Well, can't you like, use some jutsu to make a fire?”

“No. My jutsu has too much power. I'd end up blowing the surrounding area up.”

“Well, what about a wind one to dry out our clothes?”

I had to admit, he was at least trying to be intelligent. Unfortunately, there aren't any jutsu for what he wants. “No. Again, I'd just end up destroying our one place of shelter.”

“Well what fucking good are you? What's the point of having all those powers if they aren't of any use?” he shouted angrily.

The growl left my throat before I'd even been aware of my anger. “Perhaps if you learned something else other than that damned ritual you could contribute instead of complaining.”

“I don't _need_ to. All I need is the power that Jashin-sama has given me!”

“Then ask _him_ to stop the rain.”

That shut him up for a second, but like always, an insult to his god wasn't to be taken lightly. “That's not how he works! All I'm allowed to ask is who to kill. Jashin has no desire to listen to anything else.”

I sighed, mostly because I still couldn't fathom how idiotic he could be with this religion of his, but I was also growing angry and I really didn't want to destroy what could be the only shelter for miles. Something needed to be done to keep Hidan quiet; I just needed to figure out what.

The rain was being battered around by the wind, spraying the inside through the broken windows and door. If there was something in here to use to block them I would, but the little cabin was completely empty. Then an idea hit me and I knew what could help the both of us, even just a little.

My sudden rise to my feet startled Hidan and he looked ready to defend himself from me. If he kept up the attitude he just might need to, but, no, I wasn't getting up to beat the living daylights out of him - as much as I wanted to. I strode over to one of the windows, the spray of water dappling my clothing, and rapidly went through a few hand signs. “Earth Style: Mud wall.” Such a basic jutsu I’m a little miffed I hadn’t thought of it sooner. Blocks of earth rose from the ground and continued upwards until the three openings were covered. Water still dripped in but not nearly to the extent as it had been. The only downfall was how much darker the single room cabin had become.

“So you _did_ have something to stop the rain from getting us,” Hidan sneered. “Great job by the way. Now I can’t see a damn thing.”

Nothing was ever good enough for him and his need to vocalize all thoughts was seriously pissing me off. I shuffled to the half collapsed cabinet in the corner of the room and felt around for anything that could prove useful, which, in retrospect, I should have done _before_ blinding myself. Behind me, wood creaked and snapped followed by Hidan cursing and stumbling. I could only assume he’d broken through the floor and fallen. Shaking my head, I continued rummaging until I found something with a waxy texture: a candle, or so I hoped. Fishing out the packet of matches I normally used for campfires, I struck one of the sticks and, having been right in assuming it was a candle, lit it. The candle didn’t provide much light and would only last a few hours but luckily there was a rusted pot and a few more sticks hidden under the mess.

The hole Hidan had made was as good a spot as any to trench up some dirt for the pot and become a makeshift candleholder. I stuck the lit candle into the dirt and was contemplating the safest place to put it when Hidan sucked his teeth in pain.

“Ow, fuck,” he cursed under his breath. I swiveled around, pot in hand, and walked over to him. He was clutching at his ankle, hands and foot glistening with fresh blood. “Fuckin' shit this stings.”

“Let me see,” I asked while I placed the pot on the floor beside him.

“Fuck off,” he growled.

“Hidan.” He contemplated the warning in my tone but finally surrendered his foot. A large splinter was lodged under the skin and he was bleeding rather profusely. “You're a clumsy idiot,” I scolded.

“Shut up! It's not like I wanted it to happen.”

“Had you stayed still while I fixed things it could have been avoided.” I roughly grabbed his foot, which was cool to the touch despite the warm blood, and turned it in my hand to study the damage. About four inches long, half an inch wide: it was really in there. “Where's your spear?”

“... Why?”

I frowned at him. “Why do you think? Pulling this out will only do more damage.”

His face twitched in displeasure and after a moment, he mumbled, “It's in my cloak.” I fetched it and swung it open. Outside of his scythe, which was just impractical to use for this, it was the only other tool we could use. I didn't carry weapons and I doubted there were any sharp knives in this shack. I grabbed his foot again and rotated it so the wound was face up. “We’ll have to amputate it,” I goaded.

He scowled at me. “Shut up. Just get it out.”

When the tip of the spear touched his skin, Hidan jerked away. “Don’t make this any more difficult,” I growled. I didn't care about hurting him; he'd probably end up enjoying it. I was trying to avoid getting blood everywhere. Hidan was tense when I made a second attempt and hissed when the point pierced the already strained skin. I dragged the spear across the length of the splinter, flaying his skin open until I was sure I could remove the entire piece of wood in one go. Hidan growled curses and grunted in pain and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. “I've seen you lose entire limbs and you're crying over this?”

“Shut up! It hurts! Why don't I cut _you_ open and see how you like it?” he barked back.

Unfazed by his futile threat, I used the weapon to dislodge the splinter and wiped off what blood I could so I can see if there was anything left behind but the extremely limited lighting was making it difficult. As far as I could tell, there was nothing, so now all that was left was the cleanup. I left Hidan's side and lowered a section of the mud wall to gain access to the rain and washed my hands in the steady downpour. Next came dragging Hidan over and doing the same to his foot. It was still bleeding but at an insignificant rate and I made quick work to sew the wound closed while listening to Hidan continue to complain.

“There,” I said, tossing his leg away from me. “Don't scratch at it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Aware of Hidan's habit of toying with things he shouldn't, I move the potted candle to the furthest end of the room and took up a spot along the back wall. After examining his foot, Hidan huddled nearby, shivering every now and then. I could feel no sympathy for someone who was constantly unprepared.

“Are you sure we can’t have just a small fire?”

“Yes. You’re fortunate we even have any light.”

Hidan moaned, checked his clothing, and sat back down again. “What about-”

“Hidan, for the last time, there’s nothing to be done.” I was slowly losing my patience with him and any more of his ‘suggestions’ and questions, I’ll crack.

He stayed quiet for perhaps an entire minute before he opened his mouth again. “For fuck’s sake, can’t the candle provide any more heat?”

I was on my feet with a growl and looming over him in an instant. “One more word, Hidan, and I’ll throw you outside,” I threatened.

“Then I’ll knock the whole house over and you can get- er!”

I pounced, seizing him by the jaw and forcing him down onto the floor. He snarled in retaliation but I wasn’t finished yet. He couldn’t run away, not while he was positioned between my knees exactly like I had him this morning. With just a breath from his face, I growled, “I’m tired of warning you over and over again to keep that mouth of yours shut. If you don’t learn to be quiet I’ll rip off your head and sew your mouth closed.”

Not an ounce of fear glared back at me. “Fuckin’ try it, old man,” Hidan spat out.

I slammed his head against the floorboards and reached for his throat, but then I hesitated. Maybe this was what Hidan wanted. Maybe he was purposely aggravating me so I’d do these things to him and I was repeatedly falling for his tricks. After all, he did find pleasure in pain. Perhaps it was time to try something new; something a little more pride reducing. I’d be taking a blow myself but crushing Hidan under me would be worth it.

“You know,” I said as softly as I could and ran my thumb close to his eye. He flinched, probably thinking I had considered gouging his eyes out but then looked at me with newfound confusion at my gentle touch. “There are other ways to keep a body warm.” I kept one hand cradling his cheek while the other ran down his bare chest.

He shivered underneath me, his eyes interpreting that he was unsure if he should be angry or further confused. “What the fuck are you talking about?” There was uncertainty in his voice as if he had an idea of what I was referring to but didn’t want to believe it.

I smirked which caused him to stiffen. My hand left his cheek and slid south so I could wrap my fingers around his throat. But I didn’t tighten my hold; just held it there so I could feel him swallow in apprehension. “I’m talking about the act of sharing one’s body heat with another.”

There was a spark of panic quickly replaced by anger. “Get off of me!” he snarled and shoved me back. I let him believe he had a chance to escape and purposely reacted late as he scrambled to get away, but he wasn’t going to get far.

I outmatched him in utterly every aspect: strength; speed; weight; endurance - he didn’t stand much of a chance. I had his face shoved against the floor in seconds and an arm wrapped tightly around his waist. Hidan squirmed and cursed but where would he go? All of the exits were blocked.

“Why fight it,” I hummed, “when there's pleasure in pain.” He yelped when I grabbed his crotch and instinctively tried to lurch forward, but I was holding fast. “The human body has plenty of areas that can be stimulated but I'm curious to know if you only get off on pain.”

“Get off! You fuckin’ perverted old man!”

“Is that the best you can come up with? I'm rather disappointed.” I shifted the hand on the back of his neck to his throat and tightened my grip. Hidan sputtered and choked on his words filled with spite and I released my hold on his groin so I could restrain one of his arms from fighting me. I knelt in close to the back of his ear and murmured, “Are you still feeling cold, Hidan?”

His body shivered in reaction and I was beginning to enjoy this. “Fuck you… ack… piece of shit.”

I loosened the grip on his throat because I had some questions I'd been wondering about for awhile. “Tell me, were you sold to this cult of yours and corrupted at a young age?”

“What? Fuck you! I found Jashin-sama _after_ I left Yugakure. I wasn't sold to anybody!”

“Ah, so you were just born this stupid?” My hold held as he struggled to get free.

“Fuck you, you shitty excuse of a heathen!”

“What is it that attracted you to it? You don't need a religion to have an excuse to murder.” I was genuinely interested. The promise of immortality was certainly an alluring factor for anyone but to convince people to kill and risk killing themselves for it? Others had achieved easier means. I wasn’t perfect; I had to kill to extend my life, but Hidan didn’t need to.

“Interested in becoming a follower of Jashin?” Hidan sneered. “What happened, Kakuzu, I thought you didn’t believe in him.” He chuckled as if it were funny. “Has witnessing his power through me converted you?”

“There is no such thing as gods,” I told him. I knew it for a fact. It was just another jutsu that kept him alive but he was too stupid to realize that.

Hidan scoffed like he always did when I denounced his faith but before he could go into another one of his rants I slipped my hand back over his groin. “I’ll find a way to kill you, I promise you that,” I murmured in his ear.

“Like hell you will.”

I chuckled - it was just like him to fight me but then the clothed flesh in my hands hardened some. “Hm?” I gripped his throat again while I fondled him. “You really do get off on being threatened and punished.”

“Shut it… anyone’s dick would react to being touched like that.” He was struggling to talk but I wasn’t completely blocking his airways to be the cause.

“Even though it’s a man touching you?” I leaned into him. “Tell me, Hidan, are you this much of a virgin or have those priests of yours tainted this body?”

Almost fully erect and with short breaths, sweat just starting to break out across his skin: there was no hiding his arousal. “Fff… Fuck you. I’m no- ...Nn… virgin. And none of the others… laid a hand on me!”

“Is that so? Then is your body _this_ deprived of actually being touched?” I stopped groping him for a minute to stick my fingers in Hidan’s mouth. He surprisingly didn’t bite, and with freshly lubed fingers, I slipped them down his backside.

“My body is for Jashin-sama only!” Hidan made another attempt to escape but I wasn’t going to let that happen. I shoved him down onto the floor, all of him, and used my weight to keep him pinned while I pulled his boxer shorts down enough to expose his ass. “What are you doing? Stop it!”

I’d hate to admit it, but I was actually looking forward to this. My own body was reacting to the thought of taking Hidan and forcing myself on him in ways that should have made me uncomfortable and disgusted. I’ve never wanted a man like this before and it has been a long time since I’ve held a woman. With Hidan I could be rough; perhaps even violent. His body could handle things that no other human being could and I found myself becoming more and more aroused.

Despite Hidan's tense muscles from fighting me, I was making progress with my fingers. Usually, taking a gentle approach wasn't in my skill set but I'd end up feeling just as much pain as Hidan if I skipped the preparation and as disgusting as the act should be, I was only half aware that I was grinding against him in sync with my hand.

“Stop it…” he weakly called out.

Dammit, I wanted him. I _really_ wanted him. Who knew I still had this lust inside of me? But I suppose carnal instinct never truly disappears. Sex, forced or consensual, was another form of domination depending on who was in control of the situation and I was rapidly getting swept up in the idea of it.

Hidan’s lack of respect and fear has driven me to this. Had he just listened or stayed out of my way; didn't antagonize and jeer; maybe I'd have let him be. But this was Hidan: an idiot who got off on being the worst kind of person. I’m going to prove to him that I'm done messing around.

Hidan continued to tell me to stop and to let him go. As if asking, or I should say demanding, has ever worked in the past. At one point he told me to quit messing with him and that I didn't have the balls to go through with it. He couldn't be more wrong.

Because I had already resigned myself to raping him.

His slew of curses and screeching became weaker and weaker as his breathing became more sporadic. I thought he was just fighting the pleasure because I certainly wasn't causing him any pain.

“Stop! Kakuzu, stop it! Please… stop!”

That little plea froze me in my tracks. He'd never sounded so desperate - his usually shrill voice coming out pathetic and emotional. It was then that I noticed he was trembling and I swear, for just an instant, my hearts fluctuated oddly. Hidan's breathing was still ragged but now I knew that it wasn't out of pleasure any longer. He was close to sobbing, and I wasn’t feeling as powerful as I should have been.

I turned him over to face me and could see the tears ever so subtly being held back. “Are you crying?” I asked, my voice lacking any sympathy. Had I finally broken him? Was this all it took to make Hidan submissive to me? “You’re not actually a virgin, are you?”

“Shut up! I'm not crying!” he snapped back but his voice cracked precariously. “I'm pissed! Who the fuck are you? Get off of me you sick fuck!”

I snatched his face and for the first time ever, I saw pure dread reflecting back at me. I'd done it: I'd finally shown him that there was a reason to fear me. He could snarl and curse all he wants now but he can't hide behind that facade any longer.

Hidan was still trembling but his lips were curled back in a false threat. “You fucking piece of shit! Who does this to another man?”

I felt the grin spread across my face as I watched his fury morph into unease. “I've hardly done a thing. What makes you think I'm done?” His entire body flinched and had taken the snarl with it. I wasn't done - not in the slightest. Knowing him he probably thought this had started out as just an empty threat that had gotten out of hand and perhaps it had started that way. Not anymore. I wanted to dominate him and I finally found a way to do it.

He was preparing to fight me (as I've basically told him this wasn't over) so I quickly made the first move and tied his wrists together. The tendrils inside of me weren’t very strong and with enough struggling Hidan could easily break free but by then it’ll be too late. After tossing the headband he wore loosely around his neck, I slid a hand up the back of his nape and grabbed a fistful of silvery hair. My other hand was unfortunately preoccupied pinning his arms above his head that didn’t give me much of an advantage but at least the rest of him was still trapped under me. I yanked his head back by the hair, smiling at the hiss of pain he produced, and then bit into the side of his neck. I don’t know why I did it - it just felt right - and the gasp, of what could be pleasure but most likely pain, nearly made me lose all control.

“Ow! What the fuck?! You bit me!” Hidan shouted in disbelief. I licked the trace amount of blood from my lips and looked down on him. “Who the fuck bites people?!” In spite of the faint lighting I could see where I’d marked him alongside the purple bruises of his earlier strangulation. I don’t want to say I had a fascination with his neck though that certainly would come off as hypocritical, but seeing the marks I’ve left on him aroused me.

My eyes drifted to the necklace he wore - the rosary that embellished the symbol of his faith. This idiotic god of his is what angered me the most. Had his rants been about anything else I may have let this awful disposition of his slide but everything he did was in justification of his god. It was never what _he_ wanted; it was what his god wanted. I let go of his head, grabbed the medallion, a ripped it off of him, sending it flying to who knows where in our makeshift shelter.

“Jashin-sama!” Hidan sounded almost desperately, as if his god lived in that necklace.

“Leave it. Jashin isn’t here,” I told him rather calmly and grabbed his face. “But I am.”

“Fuck you! Give it back!”

“You can get it later,” I said, this time growing irritated. “You should be more concerned with me.” I was pulling his head back by his hair again and nipped at his throat. He still wasn’t giving in like I’d visualized but there was a distinct shift in his groans compared to earlier. I worked my way up his neck; biting, licking, tasting him; until I reached his lips and I… I kissed him. I don’t know what possessed me at this moment but I kissed him and wanted to go further.

I wanted him to kiss me back.

I released my hold on his hair and instead gently cradled his head to mine so I could keep exploring his mouth with my own. Hidan was resistant at first, or I should say, hesitant. Like he wanted this from me but was afraid I’d find out. At this point I couldn’t care if this was just another one of his whims that I was being fooled into because I wanted it just as much.

As he finally kissed me back, I knew there was no turning back; our relationship could never be the same. Yes, I still wanted to kill him, but I wanted so much more. Hidan quietly moaned into my mouth and his erection was clear as day, but he still trembled beneath me. I slowly sat up, gazing at him at his breathless state. He wanted more, just like I did, but he was afraid. Afraid of what, I wonder. Of me? Of what I could do to him? Or what I will do to him? I pulled my shirt off, with a spared thought that this would be easier without the four masks stitched to my back, and returned my attention to Hidan. He looked flustered, aroused, embarrassed, and maybe even a little angry, but he was anticipating me to do something and I can see that whatever it was that he wanted he needed me to do it soon.

I took hold of his bound hands and ripped the threads off, placing one of his hands on my cheek where I kissed his palm and the other on my chest. In the past I’d caught him staring at me but I always passed it off as a look of curious disgust. Most people shy away from my appearance - it terrifies them. Not Hidan. I think a part of me always knew that he had an odd fascination with my body; certainly anyone would. When I sew him back together he’d compare his stitches to my own or inquire about what it felt like to have my body made of these stringy tendrils. Occasionally there’s a question about the masked monsters lurking inside me and how they all fit or if they’re capable of individual thought. After a few battles where I had released them, he’d try communicating with them but grew angry when they remained silent. He said to me, _“Your stupid mask things talk even less than you do.”_ Thinking about it now made me smile.

His fingertips were tracing the stitches and it oddly relaxed me. I haven’t let anyone touch me so intimately in a long time and the last person I thought I’d allow to do so would be Hidan. It could be the heat of the moment - a huge factor being that I haven’t slept with another person in years - but right now, Hidan was the only thing going through my head. His red-violet eyes were racing over my body but his fingers had finally stopped trembling. I leaned into his hand with a sigh, my eyes closed, muscles less tense. I was controlling myself quite well considering a few moments ago I was about to violate him.

Both of his hands traveled to wrap around my neck and I watched him for a moment through half-lidded eyes. He was being unusually quiet but not out of fear or anger. I think he was hoping I’d make the first move and I was tempted. Hidan was breathing quietly through his mouth but the rise and fall of his chest suggested that any more stimulation and he’d be panting. His cheeks were flushed red and his eyes didn’t cease searching my face. I leaned down, my desire to kiss him throwing out any excuses to stop from going further. He met my lips and further wrapped his arms around the back of my neck.

So he wanted me too - I can accept that.

Straddling him was no longer helpful in this situation and at this point I doubted he was going to run away. Without breaking the connection to his mouth, I positioned myself so I was between his legs but first I made quick work to remove his underwear. He made a sound that said he was unsure and shied at my touch so I went about kissing his neck. His legs tensed and his hands left to push a little against my chest as he squirmed. Hidan continued to make small sounds that were a mixture of pleasure and uncertainty. I didn’t have the patience to wait on him to decide on what he wanted so I ran my hands down his sides, one gripping his thigh while the other slid back up to stroke him.

Nails dug into the skin of my collarbone and Hidan groaned and gasped into my ear. “Fuck…” Hidan breathed. I had stopped my attack on his neck to focus on the hardening flesh in my hand. And damn was he hard.

My hips were moving slowly in anticipation, my breaking point just another moan away. I had to stop teasing him - his sounds were becoming too much - and traveled further south to prepare him once more. It was easier this time now with the very little resistance from Hidan. He still twitched and tensed up but was more accepting of the invasive touch. Now he really was panting and with uneven breaths to make up for the soft gasps. He watched me, his neck craned to the side, completely submissive. I removed my hand and reached for his throat, but I didn't apply any pressure to harm him; I just took him by the bottom jaw and enveloped his mouth with my own. I grinded against his erection, rapidly losing my control. “I won't hold back,” I warned him but my voice was filled with lust, not threats. He didn't say anything, just a whimpered moan as I broke away. In my haste to lower my pants I nearly missed Hidan bite his bottom lip and hide his eyes under his arms. That was it - there was no stopping now.

There was pain for the both of us as it was unavoidable but it affected Hidan more. He hissed as I forced my entry on account of my lack of grace but I was too impatient to take it slow. I wanted to make him mine.

At the start of my movements I wasn’t bothered by Hidan’s hidden face but now it was my desire to see all of him. I pinned his arms to each side and observed each grimace and whispered cry of pain. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I cared about what Hidan was feeling but the sex would be so much easier if he stopped resisting. I leaned in, never stopping my thrusts, and murmured in his ear, “Relax, Hidan. Relax.”

“It- Nn! It hurts, you bastard,” he managed to growl out.

I let go of his arms once I began kissing his neck again and gripped a thigh to give me more room. My other hand caressed his cheek, keeping his face from hiding away. He was still a little tense but I felt him loosen just a little. When I found his mouth with mine he all but melted into me. Hidan sought out more, fighting for dominance with our mouths in which I was winning. Chilly hands crept up my chest and soon enough found their way around my neck and shoulders. Hidan was pulling me towards him, eager for more, but it wasn’t until his legs wrapped around my hips that I lost what little control I was maintaining.

Speed and power doubled and I had to rest my forehead on his collarbone to keep myself balanced. In consequence, Hidan ceased holding back his moans, which only drove me more wild. I hardly paid attention to the nails that dug into my back and scraped the clay masks, the tug of hair of his fingers as they got caught, or the teeth that brushed by my ear. He was mine - all mine - and there was nothing that would stop me from making my claim.

Until this idiot went and infuriated me.

“Ja- Jashin-sama!” Hidan called out in my ear.

Rage is an unsettling emotion but only after it passes. One second I was fully engrossed in him, the next I had him by the throat, his face to mine. “No!” I snarled. “Don’t you _dare_ say that name!” The viciousness had only lasted a moment but I returned to my senses and loosened the grip I had on his neck. Hidan’s eyes were stretched wide in fear until I calmed and began kissing him gently along his cheek and jaw. Muscles released their tension and I allowed Hidan to bury his face into my shoulder.

I held his head there as I picked up the pace again because I actually liked the way he was clinging to me. He let out an occasional curse, twitched and groaned at some of my more deeper thrusts, but his gasps… his gasps of shocked pleasure is what really sent me reeling.

“Ah! Fuck!” I must have hit something sensitive because he squeezed me with his entire body.

I grabbed him by the hips and thrust deeper, as far as I could go, and involuntarily grunted at the motions. I was feeling pleasure I hadn't known for years, perhaps even decades. And with a man no less.

Hidan threw his head back and moaned, arching into me and moving his hips for more. “Fucking shit!” he gasped and followed it up with short breaths. A moment late his head was back to pressing into my shoulder while he continued to curse in sync with my movements. “Fuck! Fuck! Ka-! Nngh!” He held onto me tighter, panting beside my ear with soft moans.

I was close to climaxing and Hidan had to be drawing near as well. Originally I hadn't planned on going this far and certainly hadn't wanted to bring Hidan to this level of ecstasy but the point of no return had passed a long time ago.

“Shit, Kakuzu! Don't stop!”

As if I was going to, I thought sarcastically, but that’s because I was done for after he called out my name like that. I was completely enraptured. Sex has never felt this good in so long and it isn’t because I’m turning a century in age: I had just lost interest. No one could satiate me in ways that Hidan was doing right now and if I’m going to be honest, it was indubitably due to the fact that I could do whatever I want without killing him.

Hidan moaned long and with such relief there could be only one reason for it but I was too preoccupied with bringing myself over the finish line to pay attention to his sensitive twitches. I couldn't help the groan of release as I finally climaxed, my body feeling at its peak and slowing down to enjoy the moment. I didn't want Hidan to see whatever face I was making and hid in the safety of his neck. I was breathing heavily over him, still inside him, listening to the drumming of my hearts pound away in my ears until they began to calm. Hidan's pulse was racing too, matching his quick and heavy breaths. It felt like an eternity before I moved, my face flaring up with heat at Hidan's suppressed moan as I extracted myself. We stared at each other far too long and upon realizing what had transpired, we both snapped our gazes away in shame.

This was a disaster; at least that's what I wanted to think. I wasn’t sure how to approach our post coitus partnership. Certainly we couldn't go back to our usual bickering selves - not after this. I sat back and adjusted my pants, beginning to discern the soiled state we were both in. Sweat and semen was just the start of what needed to be cleaned off and we had nothing to do so with.

“God dammit,” Hidan moaned. He had curled up slightly into a fetal position and hid his face in his hands. “God dammit, it’s not fair. Fuck!”

It was a bit late for regrets but I can’t deny that I wasn’t feeling the same. “Get over it, Hidan. This was nothing more than a punishment for pissing me off.” Or so I was trying to convince myself as I wiped Hidan’s semen off of me - unsuccessfully might I add. Now that I had experienced a pleasure I’d long forgotten, this outcome could very well happen again.

“That’s not- Augh!” He rolled onto his stomach, the marks from lying on the warped floorboards decorating his back. “How can I get over it when-” He groaned again with a little added kick of his feet. I was more concerned with my internal debate to wash off in the rain when Hidan mumbled something about his god. When I raised a question, he shouted, “I want Jashin-sama to kill me!”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Regrettably, it had been way more intimate than it should have been. The two of us were destined to constantly be at each other’s throats for our partnership to be anything more than the established two-man team.

“That’s the problem,” Hidan mumbled. “Sex with you… Sex with you shouldn’t feel that good.”

I nearly choked.

“I mean, for fuck’s sake, you’re an old man! Fuck!” Hidan rolled around and kicked out his legs while switching between dragging his hands down his face and pressing his palms over his eyes. “Fuck! Shit! FUCK! I let an old man fuck me!”

The old man comments were beginning to piss me off. I usually let it slide because, despite my age, I still had the same body as when I was in my thirties. But my age seemed to be a substantial factor in Hidan’s plight than the bigger issue: that we’re both men. I’ve never found myself attracted to men before and after my loss of a sexual appetite, women lost their value to me as well. You could say I had zero interest in anyone. I’m well aware that Hidan, like myself, is heterosexual, but after this, I could be wrong. In any state, I made up my mind and kicked Hidan. “Get up,” I ordered. “We’re going to wash off outside.”

“... Together?”

Now I was losing my patience. “Does it matter? I don’t care. Get up.”

He whined. “But it’s freezing!”

“It’s not like you’ll die!” I was one more word from dragging him by the hair if he didn’t cooperate. Fusing some chakra, I lowered the mud wall at the door entrance and stood waiting.

Hidan, to no surprise, did the exact opposite and lay down, his eyes hidden in the crook of his elbow. “Maybe I should die. Jashin-sama must be so angry with me.” He instinctively reached for the medallion that wasn’t around his neck. “Jashin-sama?” He shot up and glared at me. “That’s right! You bastard - you threw it!” He was on his feet in an instant and began frantically looking around. “Where the hell did you throw it? I need to ask for forgiveness and-”

“Hidan,” I said in a scolding tone and grabbed hold of his arm. “Look for it later.”

Flustered, he looked from me to the room. “But…”

I heaved a sigh and pushed him towards the entranceway. “I’ll find it. Just go wash off.” We were probably better off not washing together anyways. It was bad enough Hidan was still nude and had no qualms with remaining as such but I wasn’t about to wait on him to rinse off because he put his religion over his dignity. He grumbled and hesitated but ultimately went outside - not without complaining how cold it was, of course.

Now where had I thrown his necklace? I had been rather upset that he’d shouted his god’s name that I didn’t pay much attention to where it went. I had a general idea, but as I’m only human, I needed to carry around my poorly makeshift lantern along the walls before I spotted the distinct shine of polished metal. As expected, the cord was broken, spilling some of the rosary beads onto the floor. The tendrils inside of me would suffice enough as a quick fix - it was going to need a more professional hand later.

After undressing, I stepped outside into the steady downpour, my body quickly becoming drenched, and noticed Hidan shivering under the roof overhang. He avoided my gaze, though, to be fair, I was scrutinizing him. “Have you finished?” I nearly yelled. It was hard to hear over the rainfall. He looked soaked so I couldn't comprehend why he hadn't gone back inside. Hidan quickly nodded and I felt a little pity for this poor creature. He was so lost on what to do that instead of arguing with me he awaited further instructions. I handed him the necklace, ordering him not to pull on it or it'll break, and told him to go inside. Having him listen to me without incident was a first and as I quickly rubbed off the filth from our joined bodies I was curious to know how this would change our partnership. I could only see it making things worse. At the moment, I think the two of us are still in shock so there's no telling how this may be handled in the future. I didn't want to imagine going through this again but judging by how much I enjoyed myself I might not have the control should I lose my temper again.

When I returned I found Hidan huddled in the corner next to the potted candle, a second one now lit, with his Akatsuki cloak draped over his shoulders. Yet again he looked away when our eyes met and I had to wonder if he was feeling that ashamed. I had expected a tantrum. Some cursing and spitting, maybe even a spear through my heart. Not quiet and meek. I wiped off what water I could and put my pants and shirt back on fully aware of the pair of eyes watching me. Then I noticed that Hidan's underwear was still a rumpled heap on the floor where I'd tossed them. “You're not still naked, are you?” It was a rhetorical question but I still wanted an answer as to why.

The mud wall was raised once again, drowning out the rain into a dull static. Hidan seemed to pout. “I’m soaked. I’m not going to put wet clothes on just to make them more wet.”

I tossed him his briefs. “At least put those on.” He grumbled but slipped them on. “You’re awfully compliant,” I pointed out. I’ll probably regret asking but I had to consider our future partnership. “Did you break your rules? I assume since you preach about slaughtering the world and death I wouldn’t think procreation is to be allowed.”

He buried his face into his arms. “Why would you-?” He stopped to think and hesitated to say more. This must be a dilemma for him if he wasn't shouting my ears off. When he did finally speak, it was as if he was unsure, his voice breaking up and filled with pauses. “Sex isn't banned… but… it is frowned upon. But…” He rocked a little. “But having children is. But you're… and I'm…” I know Hidan was strict on his beliefs as he often became upset when he didn't finish praying or performed a ritual at certain times but he wasn’t blaming me for his fallacies like usual. “It’s not like doing it is bad and it’s not like I haven’t done it. I just…” He stopped talking for a moment as if lost. “Jashin won't talk to me,” he said, crestfallen.

“You need whatever brain cells you have left so don't think too hard,” I teased. I’ve become more comfortable poking fun at him: the least I could do for the mental torment he puts me through on a day-to-day basis.

“Shut up!” Like I’d predicted he would, he glared up at me from his corner. “How are you just fucking standing there like nothing happened?”

Other than shock, I didn’t have a compelling rebuttal. I was taking the situation in strides, convincing myself that what had transpired wasn’t necessarily a terrible thing. I had been running out of ways to punish him that at some point I would have resorted to violent forced sex. Only… this hadn’t been violent.

And Hidan had been willing, if not eager, to reciprocate.

“There’s no turning back time,” I began, “And even if I was skilled at Genjutsu erasing memories is an advanced technique that could easily go wrong.” Before he got any ideas, I added, “We will _not_ be asking the Uchiha to do it either. No one, and I mean _no one_ , is to know about this.”

“Well, duh. S’not like I want the others to know I was fucked by you,” Hidan snorted.

“You mean, that you enjoyed it.” Damn it - I wasn’t wearing my mask. There’s no way he didn’t catch my grin of amusement.

“Fuck you!” he shouted. Even in the candlelight I could see his face deepen to red. “ _You_ attacked _me!_ I can’t help it that my body reacted!”

I threw my hands up in defense. “I know, Hidan. But you were asking for it.”

“I was not!”

I scowled, fed up that he couldn’t admit to himself that he actually enjoyed me hurting him. “You were. You look forward to the beatings otherwise you’d develop some common sense and avoid angering me. But you thrive off of pain and you know how much I enjoy causing it. You cannot expect me to ignore that look of sheer euphoric release when I strangle the life out of you.” I was tired and it was late so I sighed angrily, ready to give up. “Besides, it isn’t like I didn’t enjoy it either.” I tried to avoid looking at him, balled up in the corner with the candles illuminating his every expression. He seemed surprised at my admittance and then hid his face away for the umpteenth time tonight.

“Like I said,” he murmured. “The sex shouldn’t have felt that good. Not with you.”

An insult to my pride, I stepped closer. “I have much more experience than you. You’re a hundred years too early to have that kind of leverage over me.” I had expected another snarled retort but he stayed quiet. “It happened. Get over it. Nothing is going to change between us. I still want to kill you and I’ll find a way to do it.”

“Nothing, huh?” he mumbled. “What if it happens again?”

“Don’t piss me off and it won’t.” He didn’t move or respond but for some unknown reason, as if comforting a child, I ruffled the hair on the top of his head. “Get some sleep; we cross into the Land of Fire tomorrow. There’s a bounty I want to grab before we go after the Jinchuriki.” I took up residence along a different wall, getting comfortable in my usual sitting upright sleeping position.

My eyes were closed for a few minutes when I picked up the sound of Hidan crossing the room, the floorboards giving away his position. He sat down beside me and huddled close, his skin cold to the touch. “You’re freezing,” I commented, opening my eyes just a fraction to look at him. He still had his cloak wrapped around him though I imagine it wasn’t doing him much good.

“Yeah, well, _someone_ made me stand out in the rain,” Hidan muttered.

I didn’t want this familiarity to become a habit for Hidan but I suppose after what I did to him I could be a little negligent. He shivered, and I admitted defeat with a sigh. Hidan yelped alarmed questions when I pulled him into my lap and forced him to sit in between my legs. With his back against my chest, I threw the cloak around his front and created a shield to prevent my body heat from escaping.

Rigid, Hidan trembled. “This is weird…”

“It’s just for tonight.” I say this as my arms are instinctively wrapping around him. I couldn’t be _this_ starved for physical affection and yet I wanted this closeness - I wanted _him._ This was dangerous. I shouldn’t be soothing myself by comforting Hidan. We were supposed to be at constant odds with each other - for heaven’s sake he was a religious lunatic. But god dammit I didn’t want to let him go. I nuzzled into the nape of his neck and breathed in his scent. The smell of old wood and rain masked his usual aroma but I could still scent traces of it. Since meeting him I haven’t slept without my senses on high alert, skeptical that he’d try killing me in my sleep, but right at this moment, I could pass out holding him.

“Kakuzu…?” Hidan murmured. He fidgeted in my arms but at least he had stopped shaking. I grunted my reply, not wanting to expend energy in speaking. “What if…”

At the moment, I much preferred when he spouted nonsense without thinking than this hesitation to speak. “Spit it out,” I exhaled.

“What if... I want this to happen again?” he said timidly.

His question left me dumbfounded. How do I say that I had already considered sex between us recurring again? Or to make matters worse, (or in some twisted manner, better) that I actually _wanted_ to do it again? It had been good - better than good - and Hidan had thoroughly enjoyed it too. I could do so much more to him and he'd accept it all; I know he would because he loves being in pain as much as he loves causing it.

Hidan must have thought me angry because he tensed up tighter than he already was. I shook my head and made myself relax because I wasn't angry, just perplexed (and guilty that I was a little excited at the thought of fucking him again), and leaned back against the wall. “You'll just have to piss me off again. For you that shouldn't be too hard.” For him and myself, I basically just said that having sex was allowed when in reality it shouldn't be. This isn't some no-strings-attached-one-time-fling: we were mandatory partners and I can't seem to find a viable way to get rid of him.

Hidan gave a single amused chuckle and finally relaxed, slouching against me into a more contented position.

Shit. Now I'm in trouble.


	2. Hidan

Kakuzu had completely lost his shit. I mean, _pshew_ , gone. And it feels like it’s getting worse; his temper that is. Like, the dickhead has always been quick to anger since the first moment I met him but now the smallest things seems to trigger him the fuck out. I’m pretty sure I caused this current outburst. I can’t help it - it’s just _so_ easy. But right now he was beating the ever-loving shit out of some Hidden Mist shinobi whom I was pretty sure was already dead. I don’t really give a fuck; happy that it isn’t me, but I don’t really mind the savagery of it.

Actually... I find it kinda hot. Him, covered in blood, sending these heathens to the afterlife. Kakuzu’s a heathen prick too but at least I can enjoy the way he kills. I mean, it’s got nothing on my rituals to Jashin-sama but I sure as hell can appreciate someone who loves slaughtering as much as I do. I just wish he wasn’t so concerned with preserving the bodies - all for his damn money.

...Well, he certainly wasn’t concerned about it right now but that was probably because he wasn’t thinking straight.

I’d _really_ pissed him off this time. I’m just lucky he hasn’t turned his fury on me. I mean, how can you _not_ push this guy into freaking the fuck out? All I gotta do is be as obnoxious as I can until he finally snaps. Sometimes it doesn’t even take much to set him off. Though, to be fair, up until now he’d held himself back fairly well today. I’d say it was a shame, but with how much anger he had to have been building up, I think I got away with one hell of a beating. Still, as I sat here watching the grass turn red, I had a bit of an epiphany. He’s changed how he attacks me now, his more violent tantrums being used up on our enemies. No more trying to rip me apart (which sucks, by the way; highly do not recommend) or beating me senseless, and I kinda missed it. So long as I prayed to Jashin-sama to accept my pain, I looked forward to Kakuzu’s rage. It helped me feel closer to my Lord. Now he uses less messy methods because he’s fed up with buying me new clothes and slowing him down.

It’s been... oddly pleasurable…? Hell, I love being on the brink of death while my sacrifices are sent on their way to Jashin-sama but there’s something about how Kakuzu does me in that makes me want more. Gross, I know, but I can’t help that I get off on pain. I used to not like it except during rituals where I can feel my target’s life fading into Jashin’s hands but when Kakuzu attacks me - I shivered at the thought.

It’s getting bad. Like, I shouldn’t _like_ him attacking me but when I goaded him into it I found myself enjoying it more and more. It’s not like I just let him pulverize me; I do try to put up a fight. A lot of times I’m hoping to find an opening in his defense: any kind of weakness especially in that skin hardening jutsu. He’s able to cast it so quickly that my scythe never manages to cut him. It’s a total pain in the ass because I have to find _someway_ to kill him or I’ll never be able to sacrifice him to Jashin-sama.

And that sucks because even if I could find a way to kill him, I’m not allowed to. Our dearest dickhead Leader pretty much hates me and only wants me around because Kakuzu can’t kill me. Not like the bastard hasn’t tried but being forced to work with him is the worst. All he cares about is making money but he never spends it. He’d rather camp out in the fucking rain in the middle of fucking nowhere than rent a room for one goddamn night. Like, spending money might actually kill him that’s how much he hoards it. It’s fucking detestable.

And he constantly drags me around too. Like, I don’t wanna do all these missions and the ones Leader sends us out on I’m not even allowed to kill. They apparently need these stupid fucking Jinchuriki alive and Kakuzu gives away all the fun assignments to everyone else. About the only thing I don’t mind are the more challenging bounties. At least then I’m allowed to kill someone, although I never get to spend as much time doing so.

Like now, for instance. We’re currently in the Land of Tea for this bounty of his and it’s not because we were told to do it. It was just _‘convenient’_  as he put it and Akatsuki _‘needs the income.’_ But because he’s way fucking stronger than me I get forced to go along, my only options being whether I want to go conscious or unconscious. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up to being dragged like a corpse. Which, at first I was surprised he did. With all the times he’s threatened to leave me behind I thought he'd jump at the chance to actually, you know, _leave_ _me_ behind. Of course, when I asked why he didn't I got a gruff, _‘The bounty on your head is decent. It’d be a waste to not turn you in.’_ He got pretty mad when I rolled my eyes and told him that he couldn’t kill me. All I got back was that if I'm going to look like I'm dead I should have the decency to actually be dead. Whatever. He can throw as many fits as he wants, he knows he can't get rid of me. Leader certainly saw to that.

At this point I'm bored out of my mind. Kakuzu had taken care of the entire little entourage of Mist nin on his own and I was getting tired with waiting on the sidelines. It's usually the other way around and I'm the one biding my time with a ritual but I guess he needed to relieve that pent up rage somehow. And looking at the unrecognizable faces of our enemies, I'd say there was a lot of rage he'd been holding back. I grimaced just imagining the pain. I've been on the receiving end of those punches and I'm just gonna say I don't think I've ever been hit harder and that Two-Tails Jinchuriki packed a wallop.

I think at this point it's safe to say Kakuzu’s temper had died down because now he was just breathing heavily on top of the unrecognizable bloody pulp. But I've seen this pattern before. When he loses his shit on a bounty and the body becomes so heavily damaged he gets paid less for it, guess who he immediately blames? If you guessed me, then, _ding ding_ , you're right! It's somehow _my_ fault that he maimed these people so badly that they’re now worth less. I can't figure out why he gets so upset over it. It's not like the world is running out of bounties and there's no more money to be made. But that must be his heathenous devotion to the scraps of paper. If there were a god for money, he’d be the first to sign up.

I got out of the tree I had been safely observing from and stretched. My back cracked a little but there was still this uncomfortable knot in my spine that wouldn’t pop like the rest of the joints. I summed it up to the fact that I haven’t done anything these past few days except walk because Kakuzu had hogged all the fun. A nice sacrifice could have really loosened up my muscles too.

“Oi! Dickhead!” I yelled, still across the clearing at a safe distance. I know I’m not the smartest person in the world but I had some common sense. “Are you finished yet because you’re taking fucking forever.” Don’t judge me, but pissing him off is way more entertaining than you think.

The death glare sent my way sent a shiver up my spine. Do it. Fucking do it. My fingers itched for my scythe as I anticipated an attack. I wanted him to come at me, well aware that it was inevitable, and at some point he will, he always does, it's the ‘when’ that I can't stand. It could happen right this second when I'd preferred it or later on today - hell, maybe even a few days from now. Kakuzu was constantly on guard and alert that in most of cases when I never saw it coming, it's because nothing in particular was my direct fault. If I'd baited him into attacking me, sure, I was ready. It was the sudden snaps that I couldn't. I'd gotten better at predicting his outbursts, knowing right now that he definitely wanted to try killing me again, but I also learned the small details of when he's given up.

Kakuzu ignored me after sending that silent threat with his eyes and studied the surrounding bloodbath in a predatory silence. I know he's pretty smart and counting money was about the only thing that calmed him down, but his quiet rage couldn't fool me. I could practically see the steam coming out of his head as he calculated the lost income. That means I have from now to the collection office to say my prayers.

 ~~~

Fuckin' shit was I fucked up. That's right: I'm fucked in the head. A psycho, a lunatic, a madman, as I've been called. Fucking heathens just can't comprehend my god but holy shit did my stupidity know no bounds. I fucked up _because_ I'm fucked up. And god be damned that I didn't enjoy it.

Kakuzu kneeling over me, his calloused hands grasping my throat, and that mad glint in his eyes that thirsted for the kill, was all because I can't keep my mouth shut.

Let's rewind a bit to figure out what I had done.

I refused to go into the collection stop not because I knew it was going to be a shitshow but because it was a literal shitshow. The places Kakuzu dropped the bodies off at stunk worse than death and in a lot of cases were hidden in disgusting places like bathrooms and garbage disposal buildings - any place you'd think of to hide the smell of human decay. I can't stomach it so I often wait outside while Kakuzu conducted his business.

I was good - I can behave. Very few people bothered such places to begin with so it's not like I go picking fights (not that there's anyone to pick a fight with) but Kakuzu constantly orders me to sit and be quiet.

Today, as it seems, he hadn't.

That's when I knew it wasn't going to be a good day. The level of him bossing me around or just plain speaking to me is how I gauge his temper. The more violent and voluminous the threat, the less inclined he is to follow through. However, when he’s silent, with nothing but his anger filling the air, that's when I have to look out. That's when Kakuzu is at his most dangerous.

I _knew_ he was pissed. I listened to him demandingly bargain for his money as we dropped the bounties off, and I left the hidden collection's office knowing Kakuzu, with all of his intimidation, wasn't going to get the full price. I _knew_ that when he finally emerged, the brass doorknob hadn't been crumpled a moment ago. And I _knew_ that growled order to get moving wasn't because things had gone well. And yet, I, in all of my wisdom, couldn't leave him alone.

At this point, I'm not even sure what I was saying I just know it pisses him off. My ramblings on Jashin's teachings fall on mostly deaf ears now that he's heard it all, and I know he's tuned the majority of it out. But that's okay; it only fuels me further. I eye the metal briefcase in his hand. When it comes to a poker face, I'm the worst at it and a grin spreads across my cheeks. “Mah, Kakuzu-chan,” I sing out the name; he hates it when I call him that. “Why don't we actually spend that money on something nice for a change? I could use a nice hot bath.” Silence. If he wasn't telling me ‘no’ then he _really_ wasn't in the mood. “Kakuzuuuu. What's the point in making it if you never spend it? You know money is worthless in the end, right? Jashin-sama has no use for it and you can't buy your way through the afterlife.” Nothing? Maybe I should try a name he hates even more. “‘Kuzu-chan, are you mad? Is it because you beat the shit out of your precious bounties and they turned out to be worthless? That's what you get for being greedy.” I shrugged, grinning from ear to ear while keeping an eye on the figure in front of me. “Haah, you know we're going to have to stop somewhere so I can make a sacrifice, right? I can't go desecrating the commandments because you can't share in the kills.” I think I'd be okay if I didn't perform a ritual today. Jashin-sama hadn't spoken to me as I prayed earlier which meant I wasn't expected to do anything - but I can't help the itch for a fight.

I reach behind and grasp the handle of my scythe, making sure the faint clatter of the metal is heard. “Mm, Kakuzu, you've got a few spares still inside you, yeah? Why don't you offer one up to me? It's not like you can't get more.” Damn, he's really making me work for it today and I thought for sure he'd have lost it with me an hour ago.

The excitement boiling through me becomes too much and the only thing going through my mind is: fuck it. Scythe out, I run at him, the exhilaration of fighting him fueling my speed.

He didn't say anything, my final red flag is the pause in step right before leaping and in the blink of an eye, I'm on the ground, his full weight pinning me into the dirt. In retrospect, he lasted a full hour before I finally pushed him over the edge; I'm pretty sure breaking some record of his usually limited patience. But fuck, did I love it. There's nothing like being on the precipice of death, completely convinced that you can't die but still have that thrill of it hanging over your head.

And now we're here, thick calloused fingers digging into my windpipe and tendons. I can't breathe and I'm beginning to see spots dance before my eyes. A moment ago I was fully enjoying it. The pain from being choked by these strong hands I quickly offered up to Jashin, praying that Kakuzu would do more to me to appease my god. He used to.

He used to completely gut me. Use my scythe to cut off my arms or the spear to nail me to a tree. Sometimes he'd shove a hand into my stomach and reach through my insides. It hurt like hell but I loved it. My favorite time was when he had sent a hand inside and felt around my organs until he reached my heart. Kakuzu hadn't ripped it out like I predicted he would - like I had kinda hoped he would. Instead, he gently took it into his palm, giving a slight squeeze every now and then, making my body convulse out of my control. It was so much more enjoyable when he toyed with me like that and because he was so close it had felt almost intimate. His deep voice rumbling out insults while I felt his hot breath near my face and those piercing green eyes that gleamed with enjoyment - I wish he'd do it again.

Now all he does is choke me out.

My body is starting to go numb, probably do to the fact that I haven't breathed any air in fuck knows how long and the cut-off blood supply to my head is making me dizzy. I can't even feel his hands around my throat any more at which point means I can't offer up any of my pain to Jashin. The pressure in my head is too much - like it’s about to burst - and I'm pretty sure… Fuck - I'm actually starting to lose consciousness.

My mouth betrays me, as I'm barely able to move my lips. In my head I say his name loud and clear but I'm pretty sure what came out were just spit-riddled sounds. His brow furrowed, losing that amusement at my torture and, if I had to guess, probably irritated that I was, once again, not dead. He can try all he wants but unless Jashin wills it, I'm not dying.

I couldn’t tear him off of me at full strength so it came as to surprise when I tried to pry his hands from my neck to no avail. To be honest, I'm not even sure I'd managed to lift my arms. I thought I did, but everything is so numb that I could have just hallucinated it.

Shit. I'm blacking out. I just _know_ I'm going to wake up to being dragged through the dirt because of some moral sense of duty Kakuzu has to Akatsuki. I sometimes wished he did just leave me in a ditch. Then I'd be free from those bastards and can do as I please once more. I only stuck around because Leader said I could spread my religion while doing jobs but so far I'd only managed one convert and that kid was fucking dead. Maybe I should just up and leave. I doubt Kakuzu would stop me. He's tried so hard to kill me that I sometimes find myself wishing he did. I don't know if I'd be happy or pissed if he succeeded. Probably both.

Suddenly my lungs filled with air and the sudden intake was like a jolt of electricity. Everything hurt - breathing hurt. My body was trying so desperately to catch up that it suffocates itself by collapsing my throat. I'm left gasping and coughing for air, my own hands at my neck while I try to breathe. It's so strange too. My body makes no sense. I don't even need to breathe to survive and yet it still functions like everyone else's.

I glare up at Kakuzu - my so-called ‘ _partner_ ’ - in the hopes that he wipes that grin I know he's hiding behind that mask off his face. “You motherfucker,” I'm barely able to choke out. I sound like an eighty-year-old smoker my voice is that hoarse. “Get off of me.”

I didn't flinch as the hand came at me, fully expecting a beating. My jaw clenched, me baring my teeth at him like a dog so he'd get the message that whatever he does to me, I'll still be alive no matter what. But instead of his bare knuckles striking me across the face, he grabbed my jaw, fingers digging into my cheeks, and leaned in close. Too close. “You've exhausted my patience for the last time, Hidan,” he growled.

I couldn't help but smile. Well, I really wanted to laugh, but my chest still ached from my strained lungs. Seriously, how many ‘last times’ am I gonna get? “Isn't that the same thing you said last week,” I sneered, my teeth scraping the inside of my cheeks where Kakuzu’s fingers pressed.

He snapped his wrist, throwing my head violently to the side before getting off of me. I swear I heard my neck pop from the jerked movement but it didn't hurt. Actually, it may have relieved some tension. That didn't mean I was going to forgive him. “Fucking piece of shit,” I grumbled under my breath. “All over your bitchass money. I can’t wait for Jashin-sama to give me permission to kill you,” I spit at him while he gathered his stupid case of money. I was completely ignored; funny because I thought for sure he’d throw the briefcase at me. “Fuckin’ dick,” I called after him, “where do you think you’re going?”

“You’ve wasted enough of my time today.”

“Wasted it?” I asked in disbelief. He was the one who took us on this detour. Not to mention that possessive manic look in his eyes while he had been strangling me wasn’t a waste either. “You were enjoying yourself, admit it,” I taunted.

His pace came to a halt and I thought: this is it - this is where he loses it completely and rips me apart. I fidgeted in place, my anticipation impossible to hold back.

“Enjoying myself? Yes… I suppose I was. Having a toy I can kill over and over again _is_ rather satisfying.”

I hadn’t expected him to respond with an actual answer but I gotta say, this was way more amusing than a fist fight. “Oh? So I've upgraded from annoying pest to toy now?” It seemed like a better upgrade. It was certainly a better description on how he messed with me. “I’m not sure how I feel about it. Am I at least a precious toy you can’t live without?” I teased, knowing that I was growing on him in all the wrong ways. Kakuzu hated me with a fiery passion but compared to when we first met, when I really _was_ just an annoyance to him, at least now he’s grown comfortable enough around me to have a conversation - as rare and short as they may be.

He had started walking again in which I had to as well. “Precious? By no means. And a pest can still be a toy. You're just a disposable one. Only the false god in your head will ever want you.”

“Tch!” I grabbed the handle of scythe, still contemplating attacking him. _Jashin-sama_ , I prayed, _Is today the day? I want to show him how real you are._

_…_

Silence. A lot of my prayers as of late have been ignored. I blame Kakuzu - it’s the only change in my life.

“You're lucky Jashin-sama hasn’t given me permission to kill you,” I growled and quickly caught up. “But one day I’ll sacrifice you to him and you _will_ be thankful for it because I'll be saving your soul.”

Kakuzu groaned. “This again? Do me a favor and save me from your insufferable preaching by killing yourself.”

“Fuck off. How many times have you seen me perform a ritual? I am Jashin-sama’s devoted servant whom he has granted everlasting life!” Fuck, he just _had_ to get me going, didn’t he? Well now I get to lecture him on the one true god because he clearly isn’t as smart as he likes to pretend he is if he can’t even remember the simplest things. “Fucking heathens like you are to be punished by me and judged by Jashin. Only His chosen become His messengers to spread His teachings through death and sacrifice!” By now I know he’s tuned me out and I’m just static noise to him otherwise I’d have been threatened to shut up at this point.

Meh, who really cares? I probably went on for another hour until my voice started to get a little hoarse and by then I was out of shit to say. I can only repeat myself so much before even _I_ get tired of hearing it and if Kakuzu wasn’t listening then what was the point?

 ~~~

The rain is battering my face, I’m soaked to the bone, and instead of stopping under some shelter, Kakuzu has us sprinting through this god damn endless forest. It’s nearly dark out so I can hardly even see where we’re going and nearly miss Kakuzu making a sudden change in direction. “Ah! Oi! Kaku-! Grr!” My feet slide in the mud at the sudden brake but I’m not so clumsy enough to fall.

I chased after my partner, annoyed but not surprised that he hadn’t provided any warning, and make out the dark shape ahead of him as a cabin. Praise be to Jashin: I’m saved from spending another second in this chilly rain.

Old and falling apart, (and no, I don’t mean Kakuzu) I’m surprised the little wooden house is still standing. Much of the vegetation had reclaimed the walls, vines and moss disguising the logs that had been cut to make the cabin. The door is gone, nothing but soft rotting splinters, but the inside looked dry.

Naturally, Kakuzu entered first, not that either of us expected anything, human or animal, to be living there, it’s just how we operate. Kakuzu was just better at spotting potential dangers, though, in some cases, he’s had me go first so all the traps set off on top of me, ‘cause, you know, I can’t fucking die.

Doesn’t mean I appreciate being used as a test subject.

He made an effort to avoid certain areas of the floor so I followed and did the same. I could see why: the floor was squishy in some areas, rotting just like the door had. But glancing around, I can’t say I’m impressed. I’d rather just continue running until we found a hotel to stay at. But my partner is too cheap for one nice night of rest.

Kakuzu was already making himself at home; hanging his cloak up, even taking his headdress mask thing off - something he rarely did. I’m still sometimes surprised by his appearance. He’s so mutilated and ugly I don’t blame him for hiding his fugly mug but at the same time I’ve gotten so used to it that it hardly fazes me. I think for the most part, I look forward to seeing him without the mask. I’m not sure what I expect to see when he does but I can’t tear my eyes away until he catches me staring. He never makes a show of it and I sometimes wish he would. I want to know how conscious he is on his appearance. Does he hate himself for it? Or does he have some weird fetish? In any case, I know the stitching is placed with purpose. There’s no haphazard ragdollness to it - they’re there to make him more powerful, not terrifying. And they’re almost symmetrical down his body - just further proving the kind of neat-freak Kakuzu can be.

Water is dripping down my face and spine uncomfortably so I shake my head to get whatever’s loose and smooth my hair back down. “Fuck this rain,” I said to no one in particular. I hate rain. Hate it. Everything I get dragged into doing always seems to be in the rain. And the fucking base is in a place that never stops raining. Thank Jashin we don’t go there often.

Following Kakuzu’s initiative, I peel off my cloak, literally, and tossed it up on one of the roof beams as Kakuzu had. “You’re cheap ass couldn’t get us someplace nicer?” I growl in his direction. I should be thankful we found some decent shelter to begin with, but still, I could really use a nice hot bath.

“We’re two hours out from the nearest town and there's no guarantee that they'll have an inn. This is the best place to wait out the storm.” He sounded pretty sure this time around, but I know he has a habit of bullshitting me just to get me to shut up.

Scanning the consistent downpour of water, I grumble, “Fuckin’ perfect.” I seriously hate the rain. I kick off my shoes and hang my dripping pants on the same beam as the cloak, feeling warmer without them on already. “Doesn’t look like it’s gonna let up any time soon, either,” I point out, more as a reassurance to myself that there’s no point in arguing over what very well may be the only dry place for hours.

“We'll stay here for the night and resume at dawn.”

I laughed sarcastically. “Like hell I'm going out in this rain.” I’d already spent enough time in it as it is.

A chill ran through me and instinctually, I rubbed my arms. “Hey, can we make a fire?” Seemed logical to ask, right? It’s cold, we’re both wet, no enemies will find us in this mess. I didn’t see the problem.

But no; of course there’s a problem. “Absolutely not,” his response came quick and sharp - like, as if what I had said deserved a beating. “With how old this wood is the place will go up in flames in an instant. And there's no fireplace.”

He’s worried we’ll set the place on fire? “What? It's raining - we'll be fine.”

“That's not how it works.”

I rolled my eyes. “Can't we just put it in the doorway?” Seemed like a good idea to me. This way, all the smoke goes out and then we get a wall of heat stopping the cold from getting in.

“With what fuel? The surrounding area is soaked and what little materials there are that _aren't_ a supporting structure won't last long.”

Yeah, I’m pretty fuckin’ aware that everything is wet. I’m fucking wet, it’s why I wanted a damn fire.

“If you wore a shirt then perhaps you wouldn’t be so cold,” he scolded.

What do you call that look? That look where someone says something so obvious you feel nothing but an _‘Are you fucking serious?’_ annoyance? That’s the look I gave him. “What difference would that have made? Even my pants are fucking soaked. Aren't yours?” I asked, glancing down at his ankles. The blue fabric was dark from where water had obviously reached.

“Just the bottoms.”

 _Just the bottoms,_ I nearly openly mocked. I’m trying to come up with a solution to make the night more bearable and he’s stonewalling everything. I growled, frustrated that he refused to be helpful. “Well, can't you like, use some jutsu to make a fire?”

“No. My jutsu has too much power. I'd end up blowing the surrounding area up.”

Okay, yeah, he has a point there. “Well, what about a wind one to dry out our clothes?”

I basically got the same answer.

“Well what fucking good are you?” I explode. He praises himself on his abilities but they hardly fucking matter at the moment. “What's the point of having all those powers if they aren't of any use?”

The growl that sounded from him only happened when he was seriously pissed. “Perhaps if you learned something else other than that damned ritual you could contribute instead of complaining,” he snapped.

Fuck him. “I don't _need_ to. All I need is the power that Jashin-sama has given me!” Besides, why should I waste time and energy learning other techniques when my lord has given me immortality?

“Then ask _him_ to stop the rain.”

Ask Jashin-sama? I'm so dumbfounded that he's actually suggested such a thing that I'm left speechless. My god only cares about the sacrifices - I've told Kakuzu this a hundred times. “That's not how he works! All I'm allowed to ask is who to kill. Jashin has no desire to listen to anything else.”

He sighed and turned his back on me and for second I considered attacking him, only, by the time I grab one of my weapons he'd have already set in motion some plan to stop me.

With a huff, I'm squatting by the entrance, watching the water bounce its way in. It's miserable out and therefore I'm miserable and if I'm going to be miserable, Kakuzu should be as well. I'll make tonight a living hell for him if it gives me some solace in making him regret choosing this shitty shack.

Kakuzu suddenly moves and my first instinct is to brace for impact. I haven't even begun to ruin his night and already I think he's about to lose it. I watched him carefully as he moved from one end of the room to the other, fully expecting to be hit for pissing him off earlier and think, _oh shit, he's going to blow us up,_ when I see him weave a few hand signs. None of the masks imbedded in his back moved and instead he placed his palms onto the floor.

“Earth style: Mud wall.” The floor vibrated and I ended up scooting back as the ground in front of the doorway rose up, blocking out the rain. And light.

“So you _did_ have something to stop the rain from getting us,” I sneered. “Great job by the way. Now I can’t see a damn thing.”

I got a growled groan as a response and heard him move around and begin rummaging. Had we had that fire, we'd have heat _and_ light, but instead I'm stuck in wet underwear, in the dark, in some musty old cabin with _him._ There's no point in staying by the entrance so I'm up and shuffling my way through the room, trying to find a wall to get my bearings when I suddenly drop through the floor. It wasn't a deep fall, though I certainly ungracefully fell to my knees, but what sucked was the pain. I can't see what happened but my ankle hurts.

I drag myself across the floor, finally finding the fucking wall, and feel around my left foot. There's blood, I could smell it, so it wasn't water that was slicking my skin, and weird bumps were under the surface. Kakuzu was completely ignoring me, somehow finding a candle in this rotting place, but at least now we had some light. I looked at the damage and traced the dark line under my skin. “Ow, fuck,” I breathe, my pulse throbbing in my foot. “Fuckin’ shit, this stings.”

Kakuzu was beside me in a couple of strides and placed the potted candle on the floor. “Let me see,” he asked not quite commanding but he wasn't going to take no for an answer either.

“Fuck off.” I didn't want him touching me.

He growled my name in warning, and me, knowing that he'd either let me bleed out or force me to give him my foot, I relinquished my limb to him. He took one look at it and in a condescending tone, said, “You're a clumsy idiot.”

“Shut up! It's not like I wanted it to happen,” I snapped.

Kakuzu's eyes glinted in the candlelight as he glared at me. “Had you stayed still while I fixed things it could have been avoided.” I grumbled under my breath, aware that he was right but it was his fault we were even here to begin with. He wasn't gentle in the least, roughly rolling my ankle as he inspected the wood splinter. “Where's your spear?”

Ah, ssssshhhhhit. I really didn't want to know what his reasoning was but I also didn't want to end up nailed to the floor either. “... Why?”

“Why do you think?” he answered with a scowl. “Pulling this out will only do more damage.”

I winced at the thought of it but in a way it wouldn't matter: Kakuzu would make removing it painful no matter what method. I grit my teeth and avoided looking at him. “It's in my cloak,” I muttered, bitter that I was about to be at his mercy.

Almost like he was making a show of it, he swung the spear so it extended fully and I swallowed my suddenly dry mouth as I eyed the tip - a tip Kakuzu inspected like a doctor would with a needle. I should have just done it myself and I was still kinda hoping he'd tell me to do just that, but no, he was squatting down in front of me, studying my splinter with an almost amused light in his eyes. Curse this sadistic fucker. “We'll have to amputate it,” he joked.

Of course he chooses _now_ to joke. Never when I want him to - always when I'm in or about to be in pain. “Shut up. Just get it out.”

The tip of the spear had barely touched my skin when I flinched. I couldn't help it. Kakuzu isn't exactly known for caring about hurting others and I honestly believed he may not have been joking when he said it needed to be amputated. He growled at me, held on to my foot and jerked it closer to him while scolding me to stop being difficult. Would anyone hold still for him? The guy was a menace. I'm not afraid of him but that didn't mean I trusted him either. Actually, I take that back. It's quite the opposite; I fully trusted him. I trusted him to rip me apart and sew me back together. He may hate me and I him, but we both knew exactly how the other would react or behave. Nothing was ever a surprise.

I sucked in a sharp breath as he began dragging the spear down the length of my ankle and I watched him warily, trying to gauge just how much he was getting off on causing me pain. “Ow, fuck. Ow, ow… Fuckin’ shit,” I cursed under my breath.

He rolled his eyes at me, clearly not enjoying this as much as I thought he did. “I've seen you lose entire limbs and you're crying over this?”

“Shut up! It hurts! Why don't I cut _you_ open and see how you like it?” I spit back. And I was most definitely _not_ crying. “Ow!” I yelped as he dug the spear into my flesh. “Fuck, that hurts!”

He grunted his usual grunt (the kind that’s almost a growl but not quite) and finished removing the chunk of wood a hell of a lot faster than I thought he would. Probably didn’t want to listen to me complain any further if I had to guess.

I was too preoccupied trying to stop the bleeding so I hadn’t noticed Kakuzu lower the wall at the doorway because the next thing I know, he’s dragging me by the ankle (the ankle that he just sliced open mind you) and washing the blood off of the both of us. “Ow, what the fuck, you piece of shit?” It’s not like I’m incapable of doing it myself.

Stitching it up, however, was all him. I don’t exactly carry a sewing kit on me (not that I would anyways) so once I realized his intentions I just let him finish without a fight. Unsurprisingly, once he was done, he threw my leg aside and told me, “There. Don’t scratch at it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” I groaned. It’s the same speech I get every time he fixes something. The strings or tendrils or whatever the fuck those black threads inside him are, aren’t exactly strong. Weird, considering that they hold his whole body together and blood circulated within, but they were incredibly fragile. I’ve learned my lesson in the past with moving my freshly repaired arm too much and it falling off. Then I get to carry it around for a bit until Kakuzu felt like fixing it again.

I scooted back to my wall while Kakuzu went and did something else and traced over the stitches. He’d actually taken care in placing them, the bumps evenly spaced apart instead of the usual quick and inaccurate sew job. Still, I couldn’t help but feel colder by myself. Kakuzu radiated heat and, fuck me if I wished he’d sit closer. Maybe I’ll get lucky and Jashin’s punishment for Kakuzu will be setting him on fire; I’ve been a more than faithful servant to him to get at least that.

All right, now I’m cold. I ask him about having a fire - just a small one - in which he tells my I’m lucky I even have the candlelight. “Augh…” My clothes are still soaked too so I can’t even wear anything. I sit back down, eyeing him for a reaction and start to say something when he cuts me off.

“Hidan, for the last time, there’s nothing to be done.”

Nothing? _Nothing?_ I very much doubt that. The lazy fuck wasn’t even trying to come up with a solution. I leered at the candle, its small flame flickering from across the room. “For fuck’s sake, can’t the candle provide any more heat?”

Holy shit. He moved so fast I didn’t even see it happen. He glared down, seething with a familiar rage as he stood over me. “One more word, Hidan, and I’ll throw you outside.”

More threats. I grin at him. “Then I’ll knock the whole house over and you can get- er!”

It was expected of him to attack but I had hoped to get more of a warning. Kakuzu’s grip on my jaw was painfully tight, the blunt tips of his nails digging into the flesh of my cheeks. I bared my teeth at him, daring him to do more. Besides, it wasn't as if I could run: he was practically sitting on me.

“I’m tired of warning you over and over again to keep that mouth of yours shut,” he growled low. “If you don’t learn to be quiet I’ll rip off your head and sew your mouth closed.”

I could almost laugh at his threats. “Fuckin’ try it, old man,” I sneered, itching for a fight. Remember, I still haven't sacrificed anyone today - not even my own blood.

My head connected with the floorboards and I was left dazed while my thoughts caught up with the pain. I know Kakuzu was saying something but I was too pissed to listen. I did, however, flinch when I felt his rough fingers pass by my eye. It was such a small, soft brush of skin I thought, _Fuck, he really hit my head hard._

He was still talking but not in the aggressive and pissed manner I'm used to. It was almost soothing. And that was just fucking weird.

The hand on my face was warm and no longer gripping me with an intensity that could break bones. “...other ways to keep a body warm,” he said as I managed to catch the last of what he was saying.

I wish it were disgust that caused me shiver as his hand slid down my body but I'm not really sure what to call it. My head was just as confused as my body at this unexpected touch of Kakuzu's and I wasn't really sure what to make of it. I had prepared for a beating, not… not whatever the fuck this is. And what the hell was that shit about keeping a body warm? “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked, starting to worry that he had something planned to satiate that sadism of his.

Kakuzu is one of those people who rarely smiled and there's good reason too: it was fucking creepy as hell. And to make matters worse, he only smiled when he was gutting someone. So guess how I reacted when the slit corners of his mouth turned upwards? I fuckin’ froze.

His fingers wrapped around my throat but he didn't constrict my airways - just held them there with this wry smile carving his face. “I'm talking about the act of sharing one's body heat with another,” he grinned, flashing teeth.

...The fuck?! What the _FUCK?!_ “Get off of me!” I roar at him, and by some miracle, managed to shove him back. Like, what the fuck has gotten into him? He can't seriously be talking about what I think he's talking about. There's just no way.

But I'll be damned if I take that risk.

I quickly look around only to realize there's no exit and in seconds my freedom is snatched from me. Rotting or not, the floor is still hard as he forces my face into it and all I can smell is the musty pine. “Fuck you!” I spit out, snarling as I fought to clamor away from him. He's fucking heavy and there's nothing within reach for me to grab onto. “Grrr! Get off! The fuck is wrong with you?”

His heat is on top of me and I break out in goosebumps as his breath baths my ear. “Why fight it when there's pleasure in pain?” he rumbled.

I'm fucking panicking and I cry out when he fucking grabs my dick. This isn't seriously happening - who fucking grabs another man's dick and holds on? He's not even done talking and starts saying how he wants to know how I get off. Like, fucking shit! I don't even know what to do except yell because I know he's already overpowered me. “Get off! You fuckin’ perverted old man!”

“Is that the best you can come up with? I'm rather disappointed,” he chastises and then proceeds to choke me.

I can hardly get a word out but if I shout and spit at him enough I know it will deter him - I just know it. He hates it when I talk so screaming his ear off should piss him off enough to go back to the regular beatings. I think it's actually working too; his hand leaves my crotch and pins down my arm. _Fuck! Good! Just fuckin’ hit me and get it over with._

“Are you still feeling cold, Hidan?” he nearly whispers in my ear. A shiver runs down my spine for the… fuck, I’ve lost count, and despite his fingers digging into my throat, I manage to spit out another slew of curses.

This fucking bastard - all I did was complain about the cold. How in the hell did it end up like this?

The pressure on my throat subsided enough to let me breath but lingered in warning that it could be easily taken away. “Tell me,” Kakuzu began, sounding genuinely keen. “Were you sold to this cult of yours and corrupted at a young age?”

“What? Fuck you!” I know we never discussed our life stories but I know for a fact that I've mentioned how I've ended up here. “I found Jashin-sama _after_ I left Yugakure. I wasn't sold to anybody!”

“Ah, so you were just born this stupid?”

“Fuck you, you shitty excuse of a heathen!”

“What is it that attracted you to it? You don't need a religion to have an excuse to murder.”

I struggled against his grip to no avail. Fuck this bastardous heathen. But I couldn't help but feel a little surprised at his interest. Kakuzu has asked about the Order of Jashin before but then would immediately rescind his question saying he didn't care. Kakuzu didn't believe in any god - I knew that - which was why most of the time when I tried converting him it was a joke. Fucking with him was just so much fun, and besides, I didn't know if Jashin even wanted him. But, anyone willing to devote to His will was welcomed. “Interested in becoming a follower of Jashin?” I grin, feeling the fingers around my neck twitch. “What happened, Kakuzu, I thought you didn’t believe in him. Hahaha, has witnessing his power through me converted you?”

“There is no such thing as gods.” Nothing but the same boring answer.

“Che! I'm living proof that- ah!” My entire body spasmed as a warm hand cupped my crotch once again and shit, did it catch me off-guard.

The strangest tingle shot down my stomach to my dick when Kakuzu’s hot breath warmed my ear once again. His voice rumbled softly, still threatening but calm. “I’ll find a way to kill you, I promise you that.”

All I can manage is another taunt. “Like hell you will.”

He laughed, but not an out-loud one like normal people. This was deep in his chest, enough to shake his shoulders and feel the rumble through his muscles. I don't know why, but for some reason that irritating chuckle of his was a turn on and fuck him for not ignoring it or getting grossed out. “Hm?” came an amused hum and a hand once more found my throat. “You really do get off on being threatened and punished.”

“Shut it…” I had to pause for a breath because my fucking body isn't listening to my head. “Anyone's dick would react to being touched like that.”

Kakuzu made a sound that said he believed otherwise and the uttered what was on both of our minds: “Even though it’s a man that's touching you?” His weight on me increased, forcing the air I barely managed to inhale more difficult to achieve. “Tell me, Hidan,” he murmured, the fingers around my windpipe, making circles against my skin, “are you this much of a virgin or have those priests of yours tainted this body?”

“Fff… Fuck you.” Seriously, fuck him. How was I _this_ turned on? By _him?_ He wasn't even doing anything special - just grabbing me by the dick and balls! I know it's been awhile, body, but calm the fuck down! I had thought his insults would piss me off more, but honestly, I could barely speak. “I’m no- ...Nn… virgin. And none of the others… laid a hand on me!” It was disgusting just imagining the other priests touching me the way Kakuzu was.

Fuck this! Fuck him! _Jashin-sama? Is this some kind of punishment for slacking off?_ That had to be it! Why else was this happening?

“Is that so?” he said caustically. “Then is your body this deprived of actually being touched?”

 _Who's fucking fault do you think that is?_ I almost said aloud. I didn't only because I can't give him that satisfaction. I've been lucky to get any action since partnering with him and that's only because he drags us to these god forsaken isolated areas that finding some bitch for a casual fuck has been damn near impossible.

He shifts and I get a chance to breathe, only, I end up with two of his fingers in my mouth. I tasted the dirt and blood that stained his rough and dry skin as he played with my tongue and… fuck… I almost let out a moan.

They left almost as quickly as they had forced their way in and I lay there, hardly comprehending the situation and wondering why I didn't bite him. It’s almost like I wasn't in control of my body… Oh, who am I kidding? Kakuzu could probably do whatever he fucking wanted and I couldn’t do jack shit.

“... Hah…?” My stomach lurched into my throat as I felt Kakuzu’s hand slide down my back. I didn't literally mean he could do whatever he wanted! And he can't seriously be taking it this far? “My body is for Jashin-sama only!” I snapped, hoping my panic wasn't too obvious, and made another attempt at getting free. My face found the floor again, the air leaving my lungs at the impact, giving me barely enough time for my brain to catch up to Kakuzu's movements. “What are you doing? Stop it!” Wet, hot fingers didn't even tease before they entered my ass and I was left breathless. “Ngh! … Ah! ...Sss… Stop it…”

Was he…? No… Was Kakuzu seriously grinding against my leg? This isn't real; this is just some fucked up dream that I can't seem to wake up from. What's worse was that it's actually kinda feeling good which is confusing the fuck out of me. I never in a million years would have thought this old bastard could get it up but that hard pressure against my leg wasn't his leg.

“Fuck you! Get off! Shit, fuck! Damn you to hell! I'mma fucking kill you!” I scratched at the floor; tried reaching back to push him off; even clenched my ass - nothing was working. The fact that Kakuzu wasn't telling me to shut up was like this _wasn't_ Kakuzu. “I get it! Now get off! Oi, oi! Kakuzu?” This is just him punishing me for complaining, right? “Ah-! Fuck! Quit messing with me… piece of shit!” God dammit. God dammit! This _has_ to be Jashin's doing. _I'm sorry! I'll kill a dozen people tomorrow for you! I swear, Jashin-sama!_ What Kakuzu was doing, shoving fingers up my ass and shit, was a whole new level of fucked up. I never would have predicted this. Maybe I should try baiting him into hitting me - that might work. Snap him out of this- this, whatever the fuck this is. “Heh, oi, oi, Kakuzu,” I try to laugh but I know I sound pathetic. “I didn't know you were into this shit-! Nn… C'mon, what are you gonna do, huh? You don't have the balls to go through with this.” I'm pretty stupid, aren't I? Who the fuck taunts someone in my position? I do, that's who.

Kakuzu didn't show any signs of stopping, in fact, I'm pretty sure there was more than two fingers shoved in my ass… and it felt… good. Fuck, I mean, I've heard it does and I've done anal with a chick once or twice but I was never curious to find out for myself, least of all with another dude.

It was becoming harder to breathe as I gulp down my moans and spit out my curses. My body was telling me it was enjoying this but I… I couldn't be, right? Shit… This is the worst… I don't even have the strength to fight back. “Stop!” I start yelling again but my voice is choked out. I don't realize it right away but I think I'm nearly crying. I can't let him see that. He can't know that he's getting to me. “Kakuzu, stop it!” _Shit…_ “Please… stop…” I can't believe I've been reduced to begging like this.

But it worked. Kakuzu stopped for a moment, pulling his fingers out but still holding me down. I take the opportunity to try and calm down but before I know it, he’s rolled me onto my back and I feel more exposed than ever with him kneeling over me.

“Are you crying?” He taunted. “You're not actually a virgin, are you?”

“Shut up! I'm not crying!” I scream but my voice betrayed me. I snarl at him to recover, trying to make the water in my eyes be out of anger. “I'm pissed. Who the fuck are you? Get off of me you sick fuck!”

I don't think I've ever gasped out of fear as I had when Kakuzu grabbed my face. I was actually afraid of him. I didn't want to get hit. I didn't want him touching me. I didn't want him _looking_ at me. His eyes reflected back a hunger as he came to realize just how pathetic I currently was. I quickly bared my teeth at him, determined not to let him win. “You fucking piece of shit! Who does this to another man?”

A sideways grin twisted his lips into a terrifying predator with eyes that glinted from the flame of the candle. “I've hardly done a thing. What makes you think I'm done?”

My entire body flinched at the last of his words. How was this not over? How is he not satisfied? I fight him but he's pretty much already won, tying my wrists together with his tendrils and pinning them down above me. He removed the headband from around my neck, the last part of me that didn't feel unprotected, and pulled me by the hair until my throat was fully exposed. I flinched thinking he was going to rip my jugular out with his teeth and ended up gasping in surprise as I felt the teeth against my skin. “Ow!” He pulled back and licked his lips. “What the fuck?! You bit me!” I yell an octave below screeching. “Who the fuck bites people?!”

I didn't get a response, and me, still too stunned at what just happened, watched him completely dumbfounded even as he reached with claw-like fingers. I held my breath expecting to be strangled, when his hand dipped lower and ripped off my necklace. My faith - my lord - tossed into some corner without a care. “Ah! Jashin-sama!” I yell, and lurch forward but my face is promptly grabbed for the hundredth time today.

There was a strange calmness with how he spoke. “Leave it. Jashin isn't here. But I am.” I curse and command him to give it back, not that barking orders ever got me any favorable results, but I do it nonetheless. His face returned to his habitual scowl and he all but growled, “You can get it later,” before trailing his teeth over my neck. This was weird an uncharacteristically intimate, and worst of all, expecting him to tear my throat out like a rabid animal was a huge turn on. I was shivering and it wasn't because I was cold - Kakuzu’s body heat kept that from happening. No, I was still expecting him to go further and terrified that my body wanted him to.

I can just imagine what Kakuzu is thinking: _‘God, I've finally found a way to shut him up.’_ It's because I'm holding in every little sound that’s trying to escape. It's because I knew that what was going to come out wasn't cursing or snarls like I so badly wished they’d be.

Of course, I couldn't stop _all_ of the noises I involuntarily made. Which leads me to the surprisingly soft lips that, at first, pressed gently to my own and then sought out more and more. Kakuzu no longer gripped my hair and I could have headbutted him or even bit the lips on mine but… the gentleness of his fingers against my cheeks as he continued kissing me was... breathtaking. I didn't know he could be this soft - I'd certainly never imagined it but still… I found myself seeking his lips in wanting. And like I'd mentioned earlier, I couldn't stop _all_ of the sounds that bubbled up in me. I didn't realize I was moaning into his mouth until he pulled away and leaned back with a gaze I couldn't readily associate with him.

My lips tingled from the unnatural yet natural sensation. Swollen was an accurate word for it. And I kinda liked it. I don’t know what I wanted - I was so confused. A part of me was okay with this… this - this situation? Circumstance? Punishment? I don’t know but if I start thinking about it too much I’m gonna start freaking out.

Kakuzu removed his shirt, revealing the symmetrical stitch work of his well-defined torso. I’d seen him naked on more than one occasion and shirtless was nothing out of ordinary, but for some reason it was different - like I was seeing a different person and by Jashin, I wanted to touch him. I didn’t have to wait. Kakuzu broke off my bindings and put my hands on his body in some strange show of permission. It was like he knew what I wanted before I even realized it. He kissed my palm and left me free to explore his frame, seeming to enjoy my touch. I couldn’t let this opportunity pass, too mesmerized by the sutures that I’ve always wanted to touch. I only got the ones he used on me, but once they detach from his body they were nothing more than threads. I wanted to touch the live ones that held him together.

He was always so vicious whenever anyone laid a hand on him but now he was practically purring like a cat in my palms. His usually creased brow was relaxed and he’d hidden his eyes with closed lids. He was so vulnerable right now I could - I could _actually_ do something. But all I wanted was to be closer.

I tentatively trailed my hands until they reached around his neck. He was watching me, but he didn’t resist as I tugged at him to come closer. He even obliged, leaning down to meet my lips. _Fuck…_ I didn’t want to stop; I wanted more. But I still was hesitant, and like anything, Kakuzu was out of patience. He didn’t break away from my lips but he jostled me around, stripping me of my last remaining clothing. I wasn’t happy about it, protesting as he moved to kissing my neck. His large, warm and rough hands touched me, wrapped around my cock and gripped my thigh, teasing, tugging, stroking. “Fuck…” I gasped and was about the only word I could manage between the surges of moans and grunts. I had no control - I was completely at his mercy.

So preoccupied with holding back my moans of pleasure, I hadn’t even realized he’d stopped jerking me off and was back to fingering my ass, only, I wasn’t going to fight him this time around. It felt way too good and I’ve all but basically surrendered to him. Punishment or not, my mind wasn’t even in that headspace anymore. The only thing I wanted was for my body to be satisfied.

Once again, Kakuzu held my face to his, kissing me, his tongue circling mine. Fuck, he was a good kisser and him grinding against my hard on with his own was driving me insane. I don’t know how either of us has managed to remain at this slow pace but any perception that I had that this was going to stop was thrown clear when he said, in the lowest, sexiest voice I’ve ever heard, “I won’t hold back.”

I whined in longing, quickly covering my eyes in shameful lust as he began revealing his erection. I’m no homo, but for some god-awful reason I wanted him inside of me like some woman. I’m not thinking straight - my body is too deprived of sex to care who my partner is and apparently that means being bottom bitch.

It hurt. Shit, did it hurt. Kakuzu didn’t do a well enough job of preparing me because my ass was being torn open at each thrust. I cursed myself for thinking this was going to feel good. What was I thinking? That Kakuzu was going to be a gentleman and be slow and gentle? Hell, I didn’t even like slow and gentle, but he wasn’t going fast and hard either. Just a mild pace that he was clearly enjoying more than me.

My arms were pinned on either side of, forcing full exposure of my whimpers and growls. It didn’t take long for him to notice I was fighting the pain to where he promptly told me to relax.  What bullshit. “It- Nn! It hurts, you bastard!” He ignored me and returned to sucking on my neck and somehow thought raising one of my legs to give him more access would make things better.

…

Okay, it kinda did. He was able to push deeper and like usual, once I adjusted to it, the pain melted into ecstasy. I moaned, my voice only muffling when his mouth covered mine, teeth dragging across my lips and nipping. I had been somewhat pushing against his chest, a part of me still conscious that what we were doing wasn’t right, but who am I to listen to reason? I end up pulling him close and claw at his back, my nails catching on the stitches. Short breaths huffed close to my ear and I know I was doing the same to him.

It only got worse when he picked up speed, causing me to squirm at finally getting what I wanted. My head was just comprehensible enough to pray to Jashin about letting this be compensation for my lack of sacrifices and that I’d double my earlier offer so long as it was okay to continue enjoying this. Enjoying _him._

The prayer was interrupted when Kakuzu hit something sensitive and I ended up calling out Jashin’s name. What a mistake that had been.

“No!” came a furious show of teeth with fingers on my throat. The sudden maliciousness scared me and I was too stunned into silence to respond. “Don’t you _dare_ say that name!” he threatened, nostrils flaring and pure rage emanating off of him. It took a moment, but he inhaled, then exhaled, and suddenly he was kissing and nipping my skin with gentle pecks.

I released the breath I had been holding and clung to him confused on whether his threat was a turn on or a turn off. It didn’t matter because he was back to thrusting his hips and I was back to feeling pleasure.

The taste of salt from our combined sweat found its way into my mouth as I panted into his skin. Kakuzu held me close, making breathy grunts every few thrusts. Shit, I was in ecstasy, wave after wave of pleasure coursing through my body. My hips moved naturally to his rhythm and I arched upwards so my cock was rubbing up against his stomach. God, we were like animals - acting on instinct to satisfy our needs.

“Ah!” I threw my head back and moaned, “Fuck!” I don't know what Kakuzu had done differently but I swear I almost came from one of those thrusts.

I was moved back onto the floor, his hands gripping my hips and pounding deeper. I clung to him out of desperation, only for another wave of pleasure to come crashing through me. “Fucking shit!” This was what I wanted: fast and hard, Kakuzu’s hips slamming into mine. I could barely breathe but I know each exhale is in tuned with his thrusts and I'm not even subtle about it. I'm fucking moaning my pride away and I don't care. I'm so close to coming it doesn't even matter. I'm going to get my pleasure out of this if it kills me.

My arms are tight around Kakuzu's neck and as I try to formulate the words to keep him going, another jolt of pleasure runs through me. So close. So _fucking_ close. “Shit, Kakuzu! Don't stop!” I know I'm half moaning, half screaming the order but my partner responds with going even harder, his nails digging into my thighs so hard I'm sure I'm bleeding. And finally, with a long winded groan, I came. Hard. God damn the sensation lasted way longer than normal - just goes to show how much my body needed it. Kakuzu wasn't finished and continued to ram into me, making me spasm uncontrollably from my over sensitive nerves. I was still lost in the ecstasy to even begin to fathom what was going on but eventually came his final deep thrusts with loud moans of release as he finally slowed to a stop. I barely glimpsed the open-mouthed coming face of his before he moved out of view, his hands still gripping me tightly by the hips.

We both spent some time letting our bodies catch up, basking in the bliss of an amazing fuck. It wasn't until he pulled out and I met his eyes did the realization of what just happened hit me. We both looked away and I felt the heat from Kakuzu leaning over me suddenly leave. I took one glance of him inspecting the trails of cum on his stomach and quickly buried my hands in my face. “God dammit…” I groaned, coming to terms that I had just taken the woman's role. “God dammit, it's not fair. Fuck!”

“Get over it, Hidan,” he said rather coolly. “This was nothing more than a punishment for pissing me off.”

I very much doubted that. In fact, I'm not even sure if Jashin-sama would consider this a punishment. But whatever excuse there was between us, that wasn't why I was freaking out. “That’s not- Augh!” I rolled over so he couldn't see my red hot face of embarrassment. “How can I get over it when- Aaauuuugghh!” I groaned, and partly sobbed. This was horrible. The worst thing that could have happened. An absolute nightmare.

… right?

“Jashin-sama… please kill me. I can't deal with this,” I mumbled.

“What?” Kakuzu sounded behind me.

“I said, I want Jashin-sama to kill me!” I shouted into the floorboards.

“It wasn't _that_ bad,” Kakuzu responded, almost like he was pouting.

“That’s the problem,” I sulked. “Sex with you…” Fuck… am I really going to say this? Ah, to hell with it. “Sex with you shouldn’t feel that good. I mean, for fuck’s sake, you’re an old man! Fuck!” I didn't think he was capable of getting it up let alone actually coming. God, this was a total embarrassment. “Fuck! Shit!” My life is over; Jashin might as well strike me down because I'm a worthless servant to him after this. “FUCK! I let an old man fuck me!” And I fucking enjoyed it! Clung to him and moaned like some whore!

He kicked me and yelled at me to get up. “We're going to wash off outside.”

Wash off? Yeah, we're both pretty fucking gross but I don't think I can even look at him right now. I hesitated in answering, before finally mumbling, “Together?” We've shared a bath in a pond or hot spring a few times but that was when things were normal. Right now, I was feeling pretty fucking far from normal.

“Does it matter?” came his angry, bad-tempered tone. “I don't care. Get up.”

I whined an excuse about it being cold outside and rolled onto my back, hiding my eyes from my god, but leaving myself exposed to his wrath. Ignoring whatever Kakuzu was growling and doing, I patted around my chest saying, “Maybe I should die. Jashin-sama must be so angry with me.” My fingers found nothing to hold onto. “Jashin-sama?” I shot up, remembering that that asshole had thrown it and bared my teeth at him. “That’s right! You bastard - you threw it!” I stomped around the cabin, ignoring the throb in my hips, frantic to find it. “Where the hell did you throw it? I need to ask for forgiveness and-”

A strong hand on my arm halted me in my tracks. I glared at the hand holding me, then Kakuzu, and then scanned the room in search of my necklace.

“Hidan, look for it later.” Kakuzu's voice came smooth and, not quite aggravated, but not content either. I protested, my necklace more important to me than a bath, when he started dragging and shoving me out the door. “I'll find it. Just go wash off,” he ordered.

He's the one who threw it so he better fucking find it, though, it was disgustingly generous of him to make the offer. If he was being nice to me because he felt guilty for what he did, then I wish he'd stop. A kindhearted Kakuzu just seemed wrong.

Leaving him to find my necklace, I took the opportunity to wash off alone. I really didn't want to look at him right now, not without remembering how fucking good getting my ass rammed by him felt. God, this was horrible. And just thinking about it happening again sent a tremor through me. And not a tremor of disgust either.

The rain was cold and gooey mud squished between my toes. At least it was a heavy pouring of water and the filth of our desecration was washed away quickly. But now that I was done, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go back inside with Kakuzu still in there, my tender ass a prominent reminder, but I didn’t want to stand out freezing my balls off either. Fuck, my head was a mess.

The shit shack had a bit of an overhang so I sheltered under that, my foot slipping in the mud some making me realize for the first time that my legs were trembling. “... Fuck…” Kakuzu had fucked me so hard I was weak-kneed. I can’t remember the last time sex resulted in me being barely able to stand. And now that I was aware of it, I definitely couldn’t face Kakuzu now.

And speaking of him, his brooding stature came walking out, completely nude, and my necklace dangling from his fist. The second I met those piercing eyes of his I looked away, feeling like a whipped dog. “Have you finished?” I nodded. He reached out in silence for me to take the necklace, saying, “Don’t pull on it too much or it’ll break again.” I accepted it without a word, nodding again but unsure of what to do. “Go inside and dry off,” he ordered, and I quickly scurried past but not without glancing at his backside, the four masks still in place, but what drew my attention were the fresh scratches over his skin. Scratches _I_ had caused.

I groaned at the sight, quickly shook my head, and returned to our miserable excuse of a shelter. The first order of business was placing the necklace back around my neck. The metal was frigid against my skin and the rain had sapped the remains of my body heat. I needed something to warm me up and the candle looked mighty inviting. I grabbed my cloak as I passed by, wrapping it around myself. It was still damp, and I, still dripping wet from the mother nature shower, came to terms that I wasn’t going to be warm and dry any time soon. I huddled beside the little candle, adding a second to it from the stash Kakuzu had found, and watched the tiny flames dance.

My hand found my necklace and I clutched the medallion - Jashin’s symbol. _Oh, Jashin-sama, what do I do? I haven’t sacrificed anyone to you today but I hope my pain was enough tribute,_ I prayed. _I swear I’ll kill the two-dozen promised to you, but I need some kind of guidance._ I brought the medallion up to my lips, gingerly kissing it. _You haven’t told me to kill Kakuzu or punish myself so am I right in assuming what we did wasn’t wrong?_ “Jashin-sama, please answer me,” I whispered. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Kakuzu interrupted my concentration, and, as the cause of my current confoundment, I quickly averted my gaze. Only, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him for long. I watched him dress, no shame or guilt masking his movements - it was as if our intense fucking hadn't happened. “You're not still naked, are you?” he asked, turning narrowed eyes on me and then quickly returning to the entrance to wall it up once more.

I scowled at him. Of course I'm still fucking naked. “I’m soaked. I’m not going to put wet clothes on just to make them more wet,” I grit out.

He picked up my underwear and tossed them to me, low key ordering me to put them on. I did, but only because I didn't want those scrutinizing creepy eyes of his seeing the results of my throbbing ass.

“You’re awfully compliant,” he said, suddenly seeming to find the motivation to have a conversation. “Did you break your rules? I assume since you preach about slaughtering the world and death I wouldn’t think procreation is to be allowed,” he nearly sneered. And I only say nearly because it started out that way and then switched to something more of an observational guess.

Either way, I was still pretty flustered to answer straight. Like a child, I curled up to hide my face, which could only be beet red just from knowing that he was asking about me. “Why would you-?” This was Kakuzu - the man had no problem saying what was on his mind so of course he'd ask. To be honest, there weren't any rules on having sex. So long as I kill in His honor, what I do to my body isn't any of His concern. He's never stopped me before and he certainly doesn't care about what Kakuzu did to me. “Sex isn't banned… but… it is frowned upon. But…” Fuck, I didn't know what to say. I was a little happy Kakuzu was curious on Jashin's rules but the premises for why he's suddenly interested didn't make me feel any better. Sex isn't wrong in Jashin's eyes, but Kakuzu was right on one thing: having offspring was a sin. I stumbled over telling him that, my face only growing hotter despite my shivering body. “But you're… and I'm…” Two guys can't have a kid and Kakuzu knew that. I shook my head. No, it wasn't like he was expecting me to pop out a kid; he was just assuming the act of making one was a problem. “It’s not like doing it is bad and it’s not like I haven’t done it. I just…” _I can really use some help, Jashin-sama. What do I say to make him understand?_ Just like the rest of tonight, nothing was returned. “Jashin won't talk to me,” I mumbled.

“You need whatever brain cells you have left so don't think too hard,” he teased.

“Shut up!” He chooses _now_ to make fun of me? Fucking prick. “How are you just fucking standing there like nothing happened?”

He seemed to toss the idea around, his face scowling and then grimacing and then sighing. “There’s no turning back time,” he stated. “And even if I was skilled at Genjutsu erasing memories is an advanced technique that could easily go wrong. We will _not_ be asking the Uchiha to do it either. No one, and I mean _no one_ , is to know about this.”

I scoffed at him. “Well, duh. S’not like I want the others to know I was fucked by you.” I really fucking didn't. God, I'd never hear the end of it from Deidara and Kisame. Neither of them would dare say a word against Kakuzu though.

“You mean, that you enjoyed it.”

“Fuck you!” I screamed at him. “ _You_ attacked _me!_ I can’t help it that my body reacted!”

Kakuzu threw his hands up, clearly done arguing with me. “I know, Hidan. But you were asking for it.”

“I was not!” I can't believe him! Getting fucked in the ass was the farthest thing from my mind. Fuck, I wanted to kill him.

“You were,” he growled. “You look forward to the beatings otherwise you’d develop some common sense and avoid angering me.” He took a threatening step closer. “But you thrive off of pain and you know how much I enjoy causing it. You cannot expect me to ignore that look of sheer euphoric release when I strangle the life out of you.” He sighed, aggravated but exhausted. “Besides, it isn’t like I didn’t enjoy it either.”

“Nn-... Mmm…” I hid away once more, Kakuzu saying he liked it only further destroying any pride I had left. “Like I said, the sex shouldn’t have felt that good. Not with you.”

He scoffed at me. “I have much more experience than you. You’re a hundred years too early to have that kind of leverage over me.”

‘Cause you're a god damn old man, I wanted to shout, but knew if I did I'd get hit. … Or rather, I didn't because him being old was just an excuse. He was just a man. A weird, string stuffed man, but a man nonetheless and I, on the other hand, was very much _not_ like a man. Kakuzu had dominated me, not that he hadn't always been the victor in our spats, but this time was different.

“It happened. Get over it. Nothing is going to change between us. I still want to kill you and I’ll find a way to do it.”

“Nothing, huh? What if it happens again?” I grumbled. Because inevitably it will. I'll piss him off or he'll take his anger out on me and then I'm stuck either being gutted or feasted on or both. I shivered at the thought. Tonight's little experience had been too good - I probably won't fight him beyond the normal fistfight just to go through this again. Fuck, I'm disgusting.

“Don’t piss me off and it won’t.” He approached me, and I braced for whatever he had in store for me. My guess was another grab for the throat. His hand palmed the top of my head and shook it, ruining my hair. “Get some sleep; we cross into the Land of Fire tomorrow. There’s a bounty I want to grab before we go after the Jinchuriki.”

I sat frozen, still trying to process what had just happened. Did Kakuzu just… pet me? I smoothed my hair back and stopped so my palms rested on my neck while I eyed him as he took up a spot along the wall across from me. He spent a quick minute getting comfortable, adjusting his back and shoulders against the logs and then went still.

I hated how he slept - I could never tell if he was awake or asleep and even when asleep he was awake. There was no getting the drop on him and trust me, I've tried. But staring at him, looking all cozy in his dry clothes while I'm curled up in a damp cloak - I was feeling pretty envious.

Minutes ticked by and I just felt colder and colder. These stupid candles were pointless; one stick was already half melted. I didn't expect much but in my head I'd convinced myself that they provided some heat - that really wasn't the case. By now I'm shivering in waves straight down to my teeth chattering and I can't help but look at Kakuzu and think, _Well, we've already fucked. Can't get any worse than that._ I crossed the room, wary that there was no way Kakuzu was asleep yet, and plopped down next to him.

“You're freezing,” he murmured.

I rolled my eyes; thanks for pointing out the obvious. “Yeah, well, _someone_ made me stand out in the rain,” I curtly reminded him. However, sitting closer to him did make me feel a fraction of a bit warmer. I was still cold, but Kakuzu's body heat had a bit of an aura around him.

A defeated sigh escaped him and the next thing I knew, I was being grabbed and manhandled without warning. He forced me down between his legs and threw my cloak over the both us like a blanket. I didn't know what was happening so other than grunting in protest and somewhat putting up a resistance, I sat stiffly in front of him, his warmth spreading around me in an oddly pacifying manner. However, I couldn’t relax knowing the position I'm in. Bumping shoulders? Sure, I was okay with that, but this was _too_ close. _Too_ many boundaries were being crossed. “This is weird…” I muttered.

I stiffened as his arms coiled around me and held me close. “It's just for tonight,” he murmured.

Did Kakuzu forget that we hate each other? Or maybe he secretly liked me and just pretended he didn't. Though… he did beat the shit out of me when he was pissed _and_ not pissed. Maybe he just _really_ needed to get laid. Was this all it took to calm him down? Fuck, had I’d known, I'd have dragged him to some whorehouse a long time ago.

Goosebumps litter my skin as Kakuzu rubs and breaths into my neck with his nose and I'm left with my stomach in my heart and my heart in my throat. Seriously, sex is all it takes to turn him into a decent human being? Fuckin’ A, I can't even use it against him because I'll be the first one he-

...Fuck… Shit, fuck… I _could_ use it against him and, fuck me but, I'm not even opposed to it. I actually wouldn't mind him being nice to me after a nice hard fuck. Hell, even kissing him felt good. God damn, I'm a fucked up mess.

Swallowing, I worked up the courage to speak. “Kakuzu…?”

“Hm,” came his reply, his face still buried in my neck.

“Wh- … What if… I… What if…”

“Spit it out,” he breathed, sounding irritated.

I chewed on my bottom lip, regretting even letting the thought cross my mind. “What if… I want this to happen again?” Knowing Kakuzu had a tendency to overreact, I braced for whatever verbal or physical thrashing I had in store. What I was saying was completely out of character and only proved his point that I had enjoyed being nearly raped (which I shivered at that thought). But it had been the perfect blend of pain and pleasure, so can I really be blamed for wanting more?

Kakuzu was silent other than a deep sigh and for that brief moment that seemed to drag on, I was starting to think I was about to be thrown clear across the room. Then I felt him move and lean away from me. “You'll just have to piss me off again. For you that shouldn't be too hard,” he said rather calmly.

I couldn't help smiling; and maybe laughed a little. Kakuzu didn't want to admit he wanted to fuck me again and for some reason I found that amusing. The next time we do, it'll probably end up as a disaster but who knows - maybe I can lure him into it as easily as I bait him into attacking me.

The arms around me were oddly comfortable; a loose hold that said I was allowed to leave if I wanted but was preferred if I stayed. I was half tempted to tease him on his display of affection but thought better on it. He was so warm and I really didn't want to end up sleeping in the rain and mud because of my big mouth. I'll let it pass for tonight and relaxed into him, still a little wary that this wasn’t real and I was in some weird sick fantasy dream that I didn't know I had a kink for until now. A part of me was hoping it was and I'd wake up to him dragging me through the mud, my neck most likely broken from him strangling me but then I thought, _If that really does happen then I’m_ really _fucked in the head for dreaming this all up._

Jashin be damned, his strong heartbeat paired with the rain outside was lulling me to sleep. There was no chance in hell Kakuzu was already asleep but he breathed slowly and quietly; the most peaceful I've ever felt from him.

Tomorrow is just going to be full of problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, writing Hidan's version took longer to write but I finally got it done! I hope you all enjoyed this!

**Author's Note:**

> I should be sleeping instead of posting but I've spent the past week writing and editing this that I can't wait any longer to see it up.


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